Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML
Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML
Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML
Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to let me play porn while we were getting busy. The girl in the video said, "You don't need a condom, you can just pull out." I noticed she had a caesarean scar and burst out laughing. My girlfriend stormed out before I could explain. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
You're going to have shitty kids.
Paramorefan2 1
wow. that sucks. she's stupid.
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Comments (432)
ArthursLifeSucks 2
OP, you have a dumb little bitch right there. Keep on banging her in the booty. And for all you anal-haters out there, the hole is nice and tight, and your willy comes out clean when you're done. It's not gross at all.
ArthursLifeSucks 2
I almost forgot, you make SURE that stupid bitch is taking her birth control pill every day. Don't trust her, she'd be the type to pregnancy-trap you.
b0z0n3 0
dumbass
tmmundy 17
well if u think it is ok to screw a girl in the ass, u are so wrong!!! it may be tight, but she has no idea what damage u are doing to her, but she will!!!!! sooner or later her ass will be stretched out and she will shit herself, and then her so called bf will just move on to his next victim....lmao!!!! kids, they will never learn.
cufaoil 11
one minor flaw in your argument there, applying your logic, after a woman gives birth, you would be suggesting that the vaginal muscles never contract again..... same thing with the sphincter... these muscles do stretch, but they also contract again afterwards.... let's face it, if they didn't, once you crapped the first time, your ass would forever be open, wouldn't it?
HarderMyDarling 0
1. Condoms suck. 2. Condoms especially suck if you're having anal sex and 3. There really isn't much point to wearing one then, unless you're afraid your partner's gonna give you a disease. And to that I say "Why would you sleep with them in the first place?"
EulessMeangirls 0
You should have slapped the crap out her.
aesculpius89 2
hahahaha funny man I'm sorry. my girls the same way
jaybird09 0
ask her where babies come from, maybe she'll realize she's retarded
legion2020 0
blonde or not she sounds like she's a pretty oblivious girl and very dumb
whywouldudothat 0
....why the hell were you even having anal sex anyway? shes a chick, not a dude.
sk8erd 15
she was on a pill.. yup the pill messed her up my guess