Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML
Today, I was texting my girlfriend and asked her for a picture, expecting something provocative. She sent me a picture of her holding a positive pregnancy test. We had sex once. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she feels pregnant. I didn't believe her, given how recently we had sex for the first time, so I told her to take a test to make sure. She's very sure now. FML
Precaution
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
I don't understand!
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
Yeet it
Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML
Rollercoaster
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML
Top comments
sjb_2015 20
Seems legit.
bradleysol 11
Maybe she was already pregnant...
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Comments (237)
sjb_2015 20
Seems legit.
friedpwnadge 25
That bitch been cheatin'.
TwistedCherub1 15
If she is pregnant, cheating is likely the reason. But, especially if she's young or inexperienced, she may not actually be pregnant. She may be a few days late, feeling emotional, craving something odd, or any other pregnancy symptom and jumped to the conclusion. It's pretty frequent. I can't count the number of times I've had friends tell me they thought they were pregnant out of panic or to get attention and it ended up they weren't.
kangx1 28
Next thing you know shes heavily pregnant and claiming that op slept for 7 years and is the father of all her children
ChevyRedneck85 13
run and run fast
Aegimus 5
Definitely need to get a test done before freaking out, dude. One for pregnancy, and then one for DNA if she actually is pregnant, because it sounds highly unlikely that she would be.
rickyblair 16
She actually could be pregnant from him although it's highly unlikely. It's more likely that she cheated though.
incoherentrmblr 22
It's Jesus!!! The second coming is happening...
pedinhuh 23
Why bother with the DNA if OP didn't come and was using condoms? If she is really pregnant then that means that she straight up cheated on OP and didn't paid attention to her sex ed classes. I feel sorry for OP
InfiniteSunshine 32
I think you are the one that should brush up on sex ed. Just cause the guy doesn't cum and used condoms, doesn't mean the girl can't get pregnant. There's sperm in precum, so sperm can be present without cumming fully, and condoms don't protect you 100%. With the right conditions, a faulty condom and sperm present, the girl could still be pregnant with OP's child. Although it is unlikely and the more plausible idea is that she cheated.
bradleysol 11
Maybe she was already pregnant...
TheZigg 8
Since OP didn't know her up, she must have been pregnant earlier.
rosenkrieger223 24
Or she had someone on the side...
IAmMe204 25
Have to say your profile picture fits somehow perfectly with the comment. :D
JocelynKaulitz 28
It's a trap.
Blastoid 13
Holmes, You've cracked the case!
chosha_fml 27
Thank you, Captain Obvious.
dawnimus 21
She obviously wants you to be her baby's daddy! Seriously though, it's really unlikely to be yours, but theoretically possible. Good luck!
False_Stupidity 42
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You serious? He didn't even get to come, the poor guy. No sperm = no chance of pregnancy, not even theoretical.
tj4234 36
#11. you need to go back to sex education class... it is possible to get someone pregnant without ejaculating.
HKCgrimmjow 15
Not to mention just because you don't feel like doesn't mean you didn't discharge a little, it happens, it's part of it cleaning itself... Not to gross you out or anything.
oneofthosegirls_fml 11
#11 Really??? Can't believe you haven't gotten someone pregnant yet with that logic.
TunaFireStarter 16
While it's possible, it's highly unlikely unless there were some swimmers up there from last time. Otherwise, you aren't *supposed* to have any sperm in pre-ejaculate. The condom just makes it even more unlikely.
stonehare 7
yea but it a 1 in a 100000 chace with a condom
Nohman 14
#11 , You need to change your username.
dreadbeat69 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Precum has no sperm. The only way she would get pregnant is if he ejaculated previously and then had sex with her without taking a piss. And even then, through a condom? Yeah right. She's lying, end of story.
ccdude14 4
No. You are wrong.
brandy76 9
Haha believing pre Cum has no sperm will get you at least 5 or 6 kids! Hope you make enough for child support
skyttlz 32
First of all, pre-cum fluids can have sperm so it is possible to get pregnant without ejaculating. Secondly the odds with a condom are about 1 in 100 hence why they say 99% effective.
cassbird09 12
Forgive my ignorance here. I'm not trying to make an argument. It was my understanding that a condom only wouldn't work if it broke. So if it's fully intact then someone can't get pregnant? Or can they come with small holes sometimes that allows swimmers through?
ladyvidel 19
Very true. That's actually how I got pregnant in high school (I lost the baby at 6 weeks though).
graphicstyle7 17
Actually, there is such a thing as "pre come" which is when a few drops of spoo come out before the big event. But still, he was wearing a condom. I'm thinking it's pretty unlikely she's pregnant with his child.
Meanmommy02 11
Pre cum contains sperm too.. Even tho odds are slim not impossible
whiskeygirl321 4
Pre ejaculation has more sperm in it than actually cumming..
Ideastogetback 11
He's probably a virgin
NyxTheShade 8
My head hurts sperm is what causes pregnancy so no sperm no baby
imhope 23
Could she be joking around?
saocrates 16
That's nothing to joke about... Look on bright side OP, least it's not your kid
rosenkrieger223 24
I'm betting OP sure as hell hopes so right about now.
Kyuzomi 12
Plot twist. She did it with someone else but is shifting the blame onto you.
truth_teller23 11
I'm pretty sure the plot is already there.
\ 28
Reminds me of the FML where a pregnant girl tries to convince a guy that he impregnated her then passed out for 7 months...
StompinOnCrayons 15
Maybe OP should nip out to celebrate with some wine... and not return.
odamaliekh 26
Apparently, she don't always use condoms
ConsistantlyFucked 12
broken condom pre cum that would be the only way which is highly unlikely
Vnzou22 9
Drama queen huh. I wish you luck
Kibaruto 33
"OMG YOU GOT ME PREGGERS U SAID U WERE WEARING A CONDOM IT HAS TO BE U I HAVEN'T BEEN WITH ANY1 ELSE" Pretty sure that's not how it went.
krad204 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That's some serious bull, she should be on the pill if she's having sex with you (and probably other men).
HisHarleyQuinn 14
The pill is faulty to begin with. I was super careful, and still got pregnant.
gracehi 33
Plus, many women can't use hormonal birth control because the side effects are intolerable.
iAlissa 34
When I first started the pill, I was on bedrest for about 8 days due to awfully persistent nausea. The pill sucks.
ehllychan 10
If the pill is giving you problems, you can go to the gynecologist and show the pill that gave you bad side effects and they'll prescribe you one that should work better for you. There isn't just one "pill", there's a bunch of different ones with different formulas, that have different effects on every girl. There should be one that will work for you without side effects (or at least without terrible ones), you just need help from a doctor to find the right one.
HisHarleyQuinn 14
I, for one, am on mirena now. Despite all the lawsuits, I haven't had a single issue out of it, and it's doing it's job as birth control. I got pregnant on mononessa, and I did call and inform my doctor that I was having weird symptoms and I didn't think it was working properly. She told me to just keep taking it and she would re-evaluate me in a month. Despite that and condoms, I was pregnant about two weeks later. My son is living proof that birth control doesn't always work. He was just meant to be here. Couldn't live without him now. :)
sailorarctic 22
some women can't take hormonal birthcontrol. I can't because I have chronic migraines and my OGYN daid the risk of stroke is too high with even low dose hormones. my only option is condoms.
tj4234 36
Just to point out, you can get someone pregnant without ejaculating. It's unlikely though, especially with the condom... but it is possible.
fmlgazer 13
there is enough sperm in pre-cum to impregnate a woman.