Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML
Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML
Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML
Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to let me play porn while we were getting busy. The girl in the video said, "You don't need a condom, you can just pull out." I noticed she had a caesarean scar and burst out laughing. My girlfriend stormed out before I could explain. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
You're going to have shitty kids.
Paramorefan2 1
wow. that sucks. she's stupid.
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Comments (432)
BrotherThomas 0
this isn't that bad. 1. girls' intelligence is overrated. all they should do is cook, clean, and be there to have sex with. 2. if ever you get bored of her, she's not that smart, so an affair would be pretty easy to get away with. 3. some of my bros are obsessed with anal (haven't tried it myself, but that's b/c Im someone who cant even imagine a girl pooping) so if youre one of those guys and your gf does anal, you're a lucky man. (first two points are obvious jokes, don't hate)
silvrdragn13 8
wow. time for a smarter gf.
tnglator 4
so what ur saying is shes the dumbest bitch alive?
omfgitsbug 0
is she really that stupid?
bob4tehwin 0
wow fail! btw, for those people who say you can get a woman pregnant even with anal... no. if anything, your knowledge is on par with OP's girl.
noaige 6
it is not physically possible. unless the sperm goes into the ******, IT IS NOT POSSIBLE!
Iluv2D_fml 0
Hilarious and utterly disgusting and stupid all @ the same time. Amazing she can't tell which hole is which and the fact that not all babies are brown and are born in a toilet.
camerontheasshol 0
she can still get pregnant look that shit up
Richard_F 0
I agree with num2
skeettt 0
I said what what... in the butt.
Dirsh 0
haha your fault for having a dumb girlfriend. :P