Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML
Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML
Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I was at the mall, when I saw an elderly lady drop her groceries, so I rushed over to help her pick them up. She took one look at me, called me a "Liberal bastard," and shouted for me to get away from her before she called the cops. FML
Today, I was walking out of a grocery store. I hit the button on my key to open the trunk, which hit an old lady just under her chin and knocked her to the ground. As she laid there, she pointed a shaky, bony finger at me and yelled that she would sue me for everything I have. FML
Today, I was at the supermarket when I saw an elderly lady slip on a wet patch of floor. I ran over to help, and I almost fell too before steadying myself. Then some pimply cockmunch of a teen decided to kick my legs out from under me and walk away while laughing his balls off. FML
Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML
Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went over and helped her up. Instead of thanking me, she called me a pervert and slapped me around with her cane. FML
Today, an old lady fell in the street, and I rushed to help her. As I tried to help her to her feet, she started screaming, "She pushed me! She pushed me!" I froze up in shock, and ended up being chased by some guy who thought I'd attacked her. FML
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Top comments
gracehi 33
Your username sums it up.
Cyanide03 7
The elderly can be cruel.
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Comments (101)
mvc3ftw 17
I've got an awesome rottweiler,plus,the help of Altair.we will find your secrets cats and ladies...-ominous silence-
yesyesnonono 10
I've said it before, I'll say it again. Never EVER help or trust the elderly.
martin1987uk 5
Should have let the coffin dodger fall over. You do a good deed and it gets thrown back at you. Help a child and you get called a paedophile (especially if you're male). Help the elderly and they don't appreciate it.
riack 2
That's why I rarely help the elderly now. It was in the news a while back that an elderly lady fell, some guy helped her up, then she claimed he pushed her and she sued him for it.
The_F3rris 11
Shoulda let the bitch fall.
Kimitte 1
FML, I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Some people can be ungrateful, and that's why it makes me timid to help some. Next time, you should "accidentally" trip her. That is, if she's still alive. (:
dabeast15 7
Sounds like something be grandpa would do. Ugh
PhishloverA 14
See what happens when you do good things these days? Should've just let her fall
FuckMyLife206 0
thats why you dont help people... #rudegang!
j_cat187 20
You should make a scene. "Why the **** would I consider groping a woman as disgusting as you!!"