Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML
Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML
Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I was at the mall, when I saw an elderly lady drop her groceries, so I rushed over to help her pick them up. She took one look at me, called me a "Liberal bastard," and shouted for me to get away from her before she called the cops. FML
Today, I was walking out of a grocery store. I hit the button on my key to open the trunk, which hit an old lady just under her chin and knocked her to the ground. As she laid there, she pointed a shaky, bony finger at me and yelled that she would sue me for everything I have. FML
Today, I was at the supermarket when I saw an elderly lady slip on a wet patch of floor. I ran over to help, and I almost fell too before steadying myself. Then some pimply cockmunch of a teen decided to kick my legs out from under me and walk away while laughing his balls off. FML
Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML
Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went over and helped her up. Instead of thanking me, she called me a pervert and slapped me around with her cane. FML
Today, an old lady fell in the street, and I rushed to help her. As I tried to help her to her feet, she started screaming, "She pushed me! She pushed me!" I froze up in shock, and ended up being chased by some guy who thought I'd attacked her. FML
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Top comments
gracehi 33
Your username sums it up.
Cyanide03 7
The elderly can be cruel.
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Comments (101)
onorexveritas 24
lmao at your username xD
Twisted_Angel 17
look at the bright side, maybe her hover 'round broke down and she had to walk home. old biddy anyways.
AFEmoWifey 0
Jeez OP that really blows. Kudos to you for doing the right thing. She will end up falling somewhere else and nobody will catch her. Karma will come in the form of her broken hip. Also, I must agree with many others, the user name is awesome and says it all.
deegeebee 10
Wow, if she planned this, it totally could have backfired: she could've broken her hip If you didn't catch her. Or if she actually did trip, kudos to her for her quick wit and smooth recovery! ;)
goose12321 11
It's good to see she'd rather just fall next time and possible break a hip or something.
untamable_mare 4
Wow! You better go wash the moth ball dust off, and find a new grocery store. Next time, let em fall and break a hip. Maybe even make their pace maker skip a beat.
isamisis 9
I learn from your mistakes. Most people deserve to fall. Remember next time.
sickandsexified 7
Since you were within distance, damned if you do, damned if you don't. Just pretend you don't see them falling next time.
Carmstro 13
Ugh. The words "elderly ladies" and "cats" in the same sentence is just reminding me of that FML with the garbage bag and aforementioned words... *shivers* But shh, I have two cats too. Not knitting though, no need to worry about me..... Yet.
SwtCherryPie 26
Tell them to replay the security video. That'll prove she's a lying old coot.