Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML
Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML
Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I was at the mall, when I saw an elderly lady drop her groceries, so I rushed over to help her pick them up. She took one look at me, called me a "Liberal bastard," and shouted for me to get away from her before she called the cops. FML
Today, I was walking out of a grocery store. I hit the button on my key to open the trunk, which hit an old lady just under her chin and knocked her to the ground. As she laid there, she pointed a shaky, bony finger at me and yelled that she would sue me for everything I have. FML
Today, I was at the supermarket when I saw an elderly lady slip on a wet patch of floor. I ran over to help, and I almost fell too before steadying myself. Then some pimply cockmunch of a teen decided to kick my legs out from under me and walk away while laughing his balls off. FML
Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML
Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went over and helped her up. Instead of thanking me, she called me a pervert and slapped me around with her cane. FML
Today, an old lady fell in the street, and I rushed to help her. As I tried to help her to her feet, she started screaming, "She pushed me! She pushed me!" I froze up in shock, and ended up being chased by some guy who thought I'd attacked her. FML
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Top comments
gracehi 33
Your username sums it up.
Cyanide03 7
The elderly can be cruel.
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Comments (101)
Briiyahh 7
You don't see that every day. FYL
emeraldisle 30
Make them look at the cameras to see what really happens.
TweetAnne 13
Nice username OP, but yeah old people suck. Used to be an activity coordinator for them at a senior living complex, and they were so mean, vicious, and full of hate.
Kallian_fml 21
Well if they're stuck in a senior living complex, I'm not surprised.
deegeebee 10
They just don't have anything better to do :/
Bluekaren16 19
She probably doesn't get any. Maybe that's why she is so grumpy.
SierraaaNicoleee 26
You should have just let her fall and she would've been like "help, I've fallen and I can't get up." Then you just walk away mumbling under your breath how all senior citizens need life alert.
TurtleSmile 14
The personality of an elderly person is a hyperbole of what it was when they were young. She's been trolling for years.
PeteyPablo12308 20
If I've learned anything from FML, it's that helping little old ladies will cause nothing but problems.
OhDearBetrayal 25
"I'm sorry grandma but you'll just have to stop and call the ambulance yourself. If I've learned anything from the Internet, it's that you're only bleeding from your hip because you want to ruin my life. Troll."
PeteyPablo12308 20
Uhh calm down. This is a humor based site. Of course I'm not really opposed to helping people, let alone my own grandmother.
OhDearBetrayal 25
79- Looks like you're not really the best in understanding humor yourself, huh?
Mioko_fml 6
Should grab a random cashier's boob and say "see? This is groping. You, it's just call catching rotting meat." But er, probably doesn't end well this way either. xD
GracesDelirium 9
It could, perhaps. Maybe some people appreciate getting groped in public. Whatever.
Warden1986 16
Then, she would of bitched, if you did not catch her. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Sorry Op
Kallian_fml 21
I feel like you've used too many commas there.
gracehi 33
It's not a just a feeling. It's what happened.
Kallian_fml 21
Thank you 39. In that case, I'm confident you used one too many 'a's in your post.
gracehi 33
Damn. I must acknowledge that that also really happened.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Hey it's not just old ladies, I have five cats and well, I can't exactly tell you my plans for them; I'd have to kill you. But rest assured, something big is coming, my dear. Get out while you still can... Meow.