Today, I was walking out of a grocery store. I hit the button on my key to open the trunk, which hit an old lady just under her chin and knocked her to the ground. As she laid there, she pointed a shaky, bony finger at me and yelled that she would sue me for everything I have. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking out of the grocery store when out of nowhere, a car backing up pretty fast sped down the parking lot and hit me, causing me to fall down and drop all of my groceries. The woman jumped out of her car, not to help me, but to carefully check her bumper for scratches. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, I was walking down the street on my way to work, when an old lady's walking stick caught my leg and sent me crashing to the ground. She apologised for the accident and watched me stumble to my feet. I said not to worry. Just as I turned to leave, I could swear a smirk crept over her face. FML
Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML
Today, a car hit me. I didn't get hurt, but someone called 911. The old woman who had hit me got out of the car with no problem to look at me, and gets back into the car. When the police arrive, she pulls out crutches and said I made strange faces and made her hit me. I got blamed. FML
Today, an old lady asked me the way to the shopping mall. The shopping mall was not too far away, but I could see that the lady could barely walk so I offered to drive her there. She smacked my car's door into a pole while getting in my car. She didn't even notice that she'd done something wrong. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, while stocking up in preparation for Hurricane Irma, an old lady hit me over the head with her walker. She wanted the loaf of bread I'd grabbed. FML
Today, I got punched in the back by elderly woman because she thought I was mocking the way she walked as I passed her. I was walking funny because I have a brace-boot on my foot due to the fact that it got run over. FML
Today, an old lady hit me with her car, after which she said, "Oh! Not again!" FML
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Top comments
EBA2013_fml 12
Why was she so close to your car in the first place?
darshini_ii 24
Why didn't you check if somebody was around? Though she doesn't really have any grounds to sue you, you should have apologised. Hope you did OP.
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Comments (52)
EBA2013_fml 12
Why was she so close to your car in the first place?
oreoeater 21
It does sound awfully suspicious
gabimk23 13
plus trunks don't even open all that fast
Marcella1016 32
Sounds like OP has an SUV. Those don't open straight up like a car trunk, but open out backward. In grocery store parking lots, people generally walk near the parked cars while walking to/from the entrance, so as not to be in the way of the other cars going by looking for parking spaces. Sounds to me like this was a perfect storm of events that unfortunately combined at the most inopportune time. F the lady's life and F your life, OP.
CrassKal 27
28, I've seen how fast certain old people move. It wouldn't surprise me if one of them couldn't escape a slow moving car door. That being said, I'm not sure if the doors have enough force behind them to knock someone down. OP if she's is serious look and see if there are records of her suing other people over "accidents", some people actually make a career of this.
ohSNAPyall 27
You mean Nancy Drew? Women can -think- like Sherlock Holmes.
Mojayokok 7
Exactly! This make absolutely no sense, she would have to be literally leaning over the trunk area. #QuitYourBullshit
darshini_ii 24
Why didn't you check if somebody was around? Though she doesn't really have any grounds to sue you, you should have apologised. Hope you did OP.
staminprime 12
what makes you think OP didnt apologize. i honestly have to wonder why she was so close. most trunks only swing straight up. if its a hatch back then it would swing a couple of feet. but not with that much force
arsinic 18
Sounds staged to me
HoboMeth 36
She's probably one of those people who hops out in front of cars and gets hit. Then she sues for a living.
Bansheefaerie 9
how did she manage to get so close to the trunk for that to happen? sounds like a freak accident to me.
ssnow_fml 20
just toss her half a piece of gum and say "this is all I got for ya"
Raekwon_fml 8
There is nothing she can sue for here. It's not negligence because there is no proximate cause. It's not foreseeable that somebody will have their face that close to your trunk and receive an injury from you opening it like that.
WOTAN1488 24
Epic...
redscarf_fml 8
Why would you open the door if there was someone behind your car...?
IchigoDeathGod 14
Run, she may not remember your face
deltax 8
she could write down the license plate....