Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML
Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML
Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I was at the mall, when I saw an elderly lady drop her groceries, so I rushed over to help her pick them up. She took one look at me, called me a "Liberal bastard," and shouted for me to get away from her before she called the cops. FML
Today, I was walking out of a grocery store. I hit the button on my key to open the trunk, which hit an old lady just under her chin and knocked her to the ground. As she laid there, she pointed a shaky, bony finger at me and yelled that she would sue me for everything I have. FML
Today, I was at the supermarket when I saw an elderly lady slip on a wet patch of floor. I ran over to help, and I almost fell too before steadying myself. Then some pimply cockmunch of a teen decided to kick my legs out from under me and walk away while laughing his balls off. FML
Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML
Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went over and helped her up. Instead of thanking me, she called me a pervert and slapped me around with her cane. FML
Today, an old lady fell in the street, and I rushed to help her. As I tried to help her to her feet, she started screaming, "She pushed me! She pushed me!" I froze up in shock, and ended up being chased by some guy who thought I'd attacked her. FML
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Top comments
gracehi 33
Your username sums it up.
Cyanide03 7
The elderly can be cruel.
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Comments (101)
Major_Whupass 3
It's always the ones who look innocent...
Jaxx66 21
27- I have three cats. And my theory is this: They were meant to take over the world one home at a time when the mother ship tells them. But we make them to lazy and comfortable for them to even notice the transmission between napping, eating and being brushed. We appease our furry masters.
JuliannVo 11
._. So cruel...elderly woman
TheThuglife_fml 2
Thuglife.
Jaxx66 21
Wow, so I haven't used this in a while... But I can't help it! The 90's called, they want their meme back.
TheThuglife_fml 2
Thuglife.
gracehi 33
I think the fellow behind you already knows... O.O
Dcm210 19
People wonder why other people don't help with anything.
perdix 31
That's why you always go for the *******! No matter what you are going to be accused of grabbing them, you might as well get the millisecond of pleasure from quick squeeze since you're going to be dealing with the punishment afterwards.
deegeebee 10
I just can't imagine anyone getting even a millisecond of pleasure from squeezing an old lady's boob...
perdix 31
Don't knocker 'em til you've tried 'em ;)
greeneyebeauty9 28
elderly people act like they weren't young once too in my opinion, so they're always trying to get the younger in trouble.
Enslaved 38
Security didn't even want to listen to your side of the story?
WWEIsLove 4
They always take the elderly's side. Since they seem rather innocent and harmless but on the inside they are made of pure venom. Well, some of them.
blackcherries 5
Do people not have ANY respect anymore? Damn! You did the right thing mate, just people are ungrateful sods nowadays! And like the others say I'm loving the name :)