Today, the subject of penis size came up while my boyfriend and I were chatting. He asked if he was big, and I replied that whatever size he was, he was enough to satisfy me. Apparently, that was the wrong answer, and he spent the rest of the night sulking because I didn't say he was enormous. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked my boyfriend about his views on personal growth. He replied, "What, you mean dick size?" FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that the size of a man's penis is not proportional to his height. He was insecure because he's 5'6" and assumed everyone taller had a bigger penis than him. He's 30. FML
Today, I tried talking to my boyfriend about our sex life. I was trying to express that I feel like we don't do it enough, but he wasn't very responsive. I ended up saying, "I wish you had a bigger sex drive" to which he answered, "I wish you had bigger boobs." FML
Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
Today, my new boyfriend asked to know the penis size of every other guy I’ve been with. There are a lot. FML
Today, during a deep conversation with my girlfriend of 6 months, I asked her if the guy she had cheated on me once with a few months back had a bigger “tool” than me. She said yes. So I asked, "How much bigger are we talking about?" Her response was "Probably like twice the size." FML
Today, as always, my boyfriend has a micropenis. He found my dildo and started crying because it was bigger than him. I love him to death and would never cheat on him, but sometimes I just need to be filled up. Am I wrong? FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, a guy asked me why I'm single. As a joke, I told him that not only do I have a penis, but that it's so large that most men are intimidated by it. He wasn't impressed. And I actually wonder why I'm single. FML
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Top comments
PsychSwirl2012 1
What a Dick...
DocBastard 40
Your answer was honest, truthful, and kind-hearted. His response was immature and stupid. Not every guy is hung like a stallion, and not every girl WANTS a guy so hung. If he ever asks again, tell him he's just barely adequate. That'll teach him that your first answer was much better.
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Comments (228)
bmw535i 0
That's a title earned not given
alyssiaa_fml 6
I had the same problem with my now ex boyfriend
radiocaf 29
I actually agree about the "enough to satisfy" thing as I too have had a similar conversation with my fiancée and she said the same thing. You can't help what you are given, but at least I know I am using it correctly.
logonator 4
girls, you shouldnt feel bad for exaggerating, but at least give a straight answer. even "you have a mike and ike for a dick" is better than lamely avoiding the question.
dmadsen33 9
Yeah, see, this is why you become a lesbian.! :D We don't have these problems.
neop777 0
Why would u say that to a guy?! That's like saying he has a small dick but u don't care... If he has a good size tell him I mean really getting that response sucks!!
picturescrazy 24
He's probably insecure about it, and your comment sounds like a backhanded compliment. It's like if you asked if you looked fat, you would NOT want to hear him say "I like you no matter what size you are". Makes it sound like you're implying he has a small dick or that he thinks you're a bit overweight.
timeSlider 5
We fill the same way when you ask us if you look fat.
cherie93 0
You are a bitch! Smh
reinmon88 0
Us men like to hear that for self conscience reasons..