Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML
Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML
Today, while at work, my boss asked me to clean the bathroom. Someone had pooped on the floor and I stepped in it, dropping my manager's keys into the toilet. I then had to clean up my shoe and the floor, and put my hand in the toilet to get the keys. FML
Today, I was desperate for the toilet when I got stopped by our CEO for a chat about a project I made a ton of profit on. I was so close to disaster that when she pulled me in for a hug I wasn’t expecting, it happened. Diarrhoea down my legs and shoes. I practically made the CEO vomit. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, as a reward for starting to eating healthy, I got the squits at work. After going to the restroom, my stall didn't have toilet paper, the other two stalls didn't have any either. My boss definitely noticed too when he walked in on me with my pants around my ankles. FML
Today, as if having diarrhea at work wasn’t bad enough, my office’s aggressively flushing toilet sprayed me with my own liquid shit. FML
Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML
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Top comments
Kayokku 1
Good work on those reports today, Johnso-- HNNNGGGGGGGGGG
Cad6 24
Run run as fast as you can, you can't catch me, I'm the liquidshit man!
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Comments (100)
Kayokku 1
Good work on those reports today, Johnso-- HNNNGGGGGGGGGG
Cad6 24
I pity the OP for having the diarrhea. I pity the boss for having to listen to it.
Guy247bp2 1
^I pity the fool! Sorry, I just couldn't resist.
digitaljunky 5
Hahaha that made my day lol
_Oblivion_ 12
Well thats a explosive situation
beccaishereyay 11
Would you rather have him sit there and listen to you shit?
FMLshark 12
5: I also pity the boss for having to smell it.
babykillaseason 0
Just the word "shit" comming out of a girls mouth is gross... I try to trick myself into thinking girls dont shit.
fenixtorador1 11
Most epic comment evar lol!
FatherofTime87 18
I don't understand how there's people who feel so compelled to talk while doing their business. Especially when it's a stranger. Actually I'm not sure which is worse.
KingKralj 31
The only comment to make me lmfao
unholymasta 4
You must've had the ***** after that, or before.
Cad6 24
Yea #2 because that makes so much sense.
biggestfan23 11
#2 that was one of the worst attempts at being funny that I've seen a while. But keep your chin up you'll get em next time
TheElderTROLLZ 15
Of course he had the ***** before that! Terrible sense of humor.
l0v3p4in 7
2 - No shit, Sherlock . . .
DocBastard 40
You should have runs, um, run out of there.
Cad6 24
Run run as fast as you can, you can't catch me, I'm the liquidshit man!
Pixxio_O 11
That awkward moment when OP's boss starts to beatbox to 15's song..
The_Troller 14
That wasn't random at all...
shanemaximo 7
Yeah, cuz beat boxing is way weirder than sparking up a grunt-filled conversation with its own odor battle going on.
PsychSwirl2012 1
That's a shitty situation.
coletrain11 5
I'm sorry, but this pun has been overused like crazy. Give it a rest.
olpally 33
He's a newbie... Cut him some slack... He'll learn in due time hopefully to not use that pun again... but for now, thumb him down :D as for op, can't do much about that...
PsychSwirl2012 1
LOL... now, where's my jet pack?
The_Hitdude 12
^ At least in your profile you admit you make shitty jokes....gotta cut you some slack for that.
curryisforGs 2
It's cool, read 4s Bio, explains.
lizmariah 1
Yours lame
BlueEyed1019 12
Thats a little weird!
EduJav321 24
Nope, its completely normal workplace behavior /:U
crazychick1269 7
I think it's more awkward than weird
babykillaseason 0
You dont say.
Guy247bp2 1
Your career has really gone down the drain...
HaniahAhmad 0
You should made a loud grunting noise and I bet he would have gotten the message, and stopped talking to you...
Jf770 10
Or he would've gotten the message that he was constipated .-.
KiddNYC1O 22
I'm pretty sure loud grunting noises come along with severe diarrhea...
EvilTeddysRock 2
Well...this wreaks of akwardness
Shelta957 13
*awkwardness
lilr69 0
*grammar nazi
himoonkey 8
*Bananas
Goldenchest 14
Banana phone!
Pixxio_O 11
How did that one way conversation go for you OP?..
thisbitchlys 0
Awkwarddd.