Today, the subject of penis size came up while my boyfriend and I were chatting. He asked if he was big, and I replied that whatever size he was, he was enough to satisfy me. Apparently, that was the wrong answer, and he spent the rest of the night sulking because I didn't say he was enormous. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked my boyfriend about his views on personal growth. He replied, "What, you mean dick size?" FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that the size of a man's penis is not proportional to his height. He was insecure because he's 5'6" and assumed everyone taller had a bigger penis than him. He's 30. FML
Today, I tried talking to my boyfriend about our sex life. I was trying to express that I feel like we don't do it enough, but he wasn't very responsive. I ended up saying, "I wish you had a bigger sex drive" to which he answered, "I wish you had bigger boobs." FML
Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
Today, my new boyfriend asked to know the penis size of every other guy I’ve been with. There are a lot. FML
Today, during a deep conversation with my girlfriend of 6 months, I asked her if the guy she had cheated on me once with a few months back had a bigger “tool” than me. She said yes. So I asked, "How much bigger are we talking about?" Her response was "Probably like twice the size." FML
Today, as always, my boyfriend has a micropenis. He found my dildo and started crying because it was bigger than him. I love him to death and would never cheat on him, but sometimes I just need to be filled up. Am I wrong? FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, a guy asked me why I'm single. As a joke, I told him that not only do I have a penis, but that it's so large that most men are intimidated by it. He wasn't impressed. And I actually wonder why I'm single. FML
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Top comments
PsychSwirl2012 1
What a Dick...
DocBastard 40
Your answer was honest, truthful, and kind-hearted. His response was immature and stupid. Not every guy is hung like a stallion, and not every girl WANTS a guy so hung. If he ever asks again, tell him he's just barely adequate. That'll teach him that your first answer was much better.
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Comments (228)
Nothin_2_do 0
Tell him that if it were bigger it would hurt too bad. That way the guy feels the sense of dominance and you aren't lyin cause you didn't specify how big! It's just like if a girl is loose to a guy he should say if it were any tighter it would pinch his dick off! Makes me happy when girls say that
thedimedrl 0
the correct response was, "how would I know?! how many do you think I've seen? I'm not a ****!"
aduro1991 4
Ok a man feels small even if a woman says he can satisfy her. I satisfy my girl n sometimes I feel small.
krillkel 2
That's the thing with me and my boyfriend. I honestly don't care about the size or how long he lasts while he's inside me, but I can't tell him that because it's not what he wants to hear.
how_to_implode 17
Guys just need to grow up about the whole thing. We all need to start appreciating the truth.
screamwolf17 3
It's like the exact something with chicks it they ask does this make me look fat or do I look ugly today. If u answer like how she did most of them would be pissed and say we called them ugly and fat....
sugarbear0727 19
What a baby
Shazam25 7
The "size of penis" thing is to a man what the "do you think I'm fat" is to a woman. It's very rarely a winning situation because there's always something that could be taken wrong.
Bronze_ace 13
Yes I love your cooking dear, those stretch marks aren't that bad, your boobs haven't drooped at all, I would love to spend Christmas with your mother, yea I hate watching football too, jeez women you expect us to lie our asses off for you to make you feel better, then again you spend an hour tellin us were liars and jerks...so we all lose eventually.
Ipsum629 13
Size only matters if you make it matter. Which you didn't. So it doesn't.
alexanderavatar 24
tell him yoda says its small