Poker face
Today, I got back from a two-week holiday only to discover my dog missing. After looking for him at animal shelters and putting up missing pet signs, my roommate admitted he lost him in a game of drunk poker. FML
Today, I got back from a two-week holiday only to discover my dog missing. After looking for him at animal shelters and putting up missing pet signs, my roommate admitted he lost him in a game of drunk poker. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I asked my neighbor if she saw what happened, I saw my dog sleeping on her couch. She tried to say it was hers. FML
Today, I got home only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming the freezing streets calling his name, I returned to find him stuck behind the couch with my chewed-up new shoes in his muzzle. FML
Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away. FML
Today, my roommate asked me for help finding her wallet because it’s been lost for days. I helped a bit, but it never turned up. I left to go to my boyfriend’s house as I'd planned. Guess whose wallet I found laying on the ground next to his night-stand? And why it was there… FML
Today, my dog ran away. I looked for him for 5 hours, and when I came back home, he was waiting for me at the door. FML
Today, I searched our neighborhood for our lost dog. After screaming at the top of our lungs, driving around in circles, and asking strangers, we realized we took him to the groomers this morning. FML
Today, I lost my dog and so I put up 'lost' signs. As I was coming back home I noticed one had been written on. It said: "Found your dog. Keeping it". FML
Today, my dog ran away. Luckily my neighbors caught him before he got too far. Now they won't give him back because they think I did something to him to make him want to run away. FML
Today, my dog disappeared for an hour. After I'd called her name repeatedly, she crawled out from under my bed, threw up on my feet, and then happily walked out the room. FML
Today, I returned from a week-long vacation. My landlord told me he had let my boyfriend in my apartment to get something. I don't have a boyfriend. Everything in my apartment is gone. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
gravedigger08 0
you can actually get a court order to get the dog back since you never gave permission and it's free just go down to the courthouse then kick ur roommate out and get another roommate
jachelle 0
Wtfff, who bets a dog?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (99)
Ouroboros_fml 0
Dear OP, Please do one of the following A) (Threaten to) Get the police involved. B) take something of his hostage until he gets your dog back. C) beat the living piss out of him, and make it abundantly clear to him that neither you, nor anything that belongs to you is to be ****** with.
charbz 0
Your dog isn't even with the guy your friend lost it too most likely. I suggest you get a new roommate along with a new dog
tjgreen 0
hahahaha your roommates gotta go. dog = mans best friend. roommate = dog.
VenomByte 1
Was the guy that won the dog, Korean? If yes, you need a new dog!
Flutist 3
Dogburgers yum
capnbzarr 43
Take your dog back and kick the idiot to the curb.
Elendil_fml 10
I'd argue he didn't own the dog and therefore had no right to do what he did. I'd tell him he damn well better get that dog back.
Pyr0freak 0
If that was me, I would ******* kill the assface piece of shit. I love my dog more than everything (except for my family, of course), and if that happened to me, I would ******* make a concentration camp just for that asshole and torture him till he died a very slow, painful death. ******* assholes. I hope my roommate will be better then that asshole piece of fucktard assface cockdick penishole ******* shitweasel.
piinkdutchgiirl 0
that is just to sick ! a dog isnt something like a phone?
ptsportsguy1 0
holy shit that's terrible i would be devastated if I lost my dog but u rele need some new friends
DirtyShisno 0
That asshole! I might have put him in the hospital.