Today, I searched our neighborhood for our lost dog. After screaming at the top of our lungs, driving around in circles, and asking strangers, we realized we took him to the groomers this morning. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was driving home with my girlfriend. As we turned onto our block, she shrieked that our dog was running down the street and into traffic. I jumped out of the moving car and chased him for about a mile, only to give up, go home, and find out it wasn't our dog. FML
Today, I opened my car door on reaching destination and my dog escaped. I never found him. My destination was the vet's office to get him micro-chipped. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally let me take his dog on a walk, after two years of not trusting me to keep her safe. During the walk, a car drove by, causing her to run after it and pulling the leash out of my hand. Five hours later, and I still can't find her. FML
Today, my dog ran away. I looked for him for 5 hours, and when I came back home, he was waiting for me at the door. FML
Today, after finally giving up on the search for my lost dog, I realized that my neighbors had found her and are convinced that she was a stray. They won't give her up and are now mad at me for trying to take my own dog back. FML
Today, I got home only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming the freezing streets calling his name, I returned to find him stuck behind the couch with my chewed-up new shoes in his muzzle. FML
Today, I went searching for my cat who'd escaped. Of course, I searched the entire building and somehow she'd got back in through my front door of my apartment. FML
Today, my dog ran away. Luckily my neighbors caught him before he got too far. Now they won't give him back because they think I did something to him to make him want to run away. FML
Today, when I went to pick my kid up from daycare, I found out that he had run away. The rest of my afternoon consisted of me screaming his name, looking for him. I then returned to the daycare center. He thought it would be funny if he hid in the trash. FML
Today, my dog disappeared for an hour. After I'd called her name repeatedly, she crawled out from under my bed, threw up on my feet, and then happily walked out the room. FML
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Top comments
zandalee 20
Don't have kids. You will probably leave the baby on the bus. ;)
Dracoboxer357 36
And what did you learn? ;) It's good you didn't actually lose your dog though.
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Comments (112)
patrickchawla 1
lol ydi...but good hes back
StanSmith_fml 9
Does anyone else get angry when someone starts their comment with "lol"?
THE_A_TEEN 28
Kind of. But I got really angry that he got top comment. Seriously, and he has -4 thumbs.
WaSiSimiLang 8
Is FML really just about first comments and thumbs? There has to be more than that... Right?... Right???...
TheDragonWarrior 5
It's a measure of self worth. Without the thumbs up we shrivel up in devastation. But in all honesty I don't get the top comment hype. Maybe someone who has gone through the experience can share what's so gratifying about it? =O
WaSiSimiLang 8
Maybe it's a human (or more of a male thing)? It's kind of like... Climbing to the top of mount Everest in a race, sticking both middle fingers in the air and pissing over the peak? And then shouting "YEAH FIRST!!!" or some other psychological reason...
THE_A_TEEN 28
^Probably right, or it's pretty much a small accomplishment similar to getting an FML posted on this site. But hey, thumbs on this site are nothing but a number. First comments on the other hand, clichéd, overused, or pretty simple and boring comment are usually frowned upon here.
Climaxx 11
I think the hype about being first comment is the fact that everybody will see your comment & will most likely respond making them feel cool. I could be wrong but it's just a theory of mine.
GovernorGeneral 8
Personaly i think it's the being noticed part. Oh and then there's that splendid feeling of getting many thumbs up(s)(?)
blaackandprouud 20
I thought being first just meant you were the first to comment.
cookie_3008 4
I would actually consider this a "WIN".. It would have been a failure if it would have been the way around.. Going to the groomers to pick him up and remembering you lost him... ;) My doggie past away a few days ago.. So I was thrilled to read you still have yours.
BeforeItWasCool 12
I suppose it's subconsciously a race to 'win' first. So much has been made of the first comment on various Internet sites and forums, that people have glorified having that first comment. I think it's a part of the subconscious primitive desire to conquer the best things, to own, possess, the highest of the high in order to be admired. In the days of cavemen, no one would settle for second best and strived to be the greatest. These instincts have stuck with humans, though of course have adapted to suit the society of today. Of course, there is nothing special about the first comment. It's just been built up into this huge thing, and now human instincts have turned it into something desirable.
tmmundy 17
54...that's what I thought as well. Guess we are both wrong. who knew?
Dracoboxer357 36
And what did you learn? ;) It's good you didn't actually lose your dog though.
brill33 7
^^^^this guy
Dracoboxer357 36
11- I'm not completely sure if you're suggesting people should thumb up my comment, ignore my comment, or punch me in the face with spiked knuckles ---> ^^^^ . O.o Can I pick option.....C....no, A, final answer.....?
GovernorGeneral 8
Of i remember correctly... The ' ^^^ ' means that you agree with the person above.
GovernorGeneral 8
If i remember ** Not Of. Sorry.
emilydotawesome 1
Have you heard of the date-rape drug?
cactasaurus 7
Well.. At least you care that much about your dog. That's always good :)
onlychildFTW 34
My question is. Who is "we"?
jacquesromualdez 12
What did you guys smoke this time?
patrickalamo 48
If your heads were not attached you would loose them too.
TaysDarkLust 11
Not to be rude but this is eating away at me. Loose = "Damn she was so loose I couldn't finish." I think the correct word you're looking for is Lose. I hope they aren't blonde, this would make a epic joke.
gill4liife 0
Hey 3, you're beautiful :)
iCherryPanda 12
Haha forgetful much?
Pandacupcakelove 26
Nah, I think OP seems pretty sharp.
TheDragonWarrior 5
I'm surprised it wasn't just the OP who had forgotten about taking the dog to the groomers. You guys either love this dog unconditionally for searching for so long or don't give enough of a damn about him to know where he is.
alshygirl 14
I read that in Kung Fu Panda's voice
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Po, you need to be training! Not screwing around on the Internet!
Tylerk16 0
You're a dumbass....
WaSiSimiLang 8
Nice try, but no... Props for spelling "you're" correctly though...
pokefan813 16
Care to explain why 6? I think its out of forgetfulness and not stupidity. Some people confuse the two and I can't figure out why...
Nightmare998 0
Hahaha, dumbass
westcoastkp 13
fail....
the420estguy 0
What a ******* tard You even drove around screaming and the dog was at the groomers how ******* dumb are you
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
65- When you hit the reply button to a comment, you're actually supposed to be replying to their comment. Not the actual FML. There's another button for that.
THE_A_TEEN 28
the420estguy, there's this old saying that applies to you: "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all". Your 2 comments here are screaming "I'm a giant Dick here".
zandalee 20
Don't have kids. You will probably leave the baby on the bus. ;)
THE_A_TEEN 28
And that baby will grow up into the local bus hobo we all know and love.
TayonaC 10
Maybe you shouldn't have any pets... Or kids.