Today, a girl puked on me. No warnings, nothing. She just threw up on me, then walked off like nothing even happened. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML
Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I was delivering packages as usual for work. I was dropping off a large letter to a hot girl. Before I turned to leave the girl opened her mouth to say something. Instead, she just vomited all over me. Her letter was my first delivery of the day. I had to finish my job covered in puke. FML
Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML
Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML
Today, I greeted my girlfriend with a spinning hug. She got motion sickness and threw up all over me. FML
Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML
Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
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Top comments
ochomurph 8
Find her and throw up on her
SamSwebb 24
I would have probably thrown up on her in response from the smell alone ... Thats disgusting! FYL
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Comments (93)
worldclassrager 41
Drunk perhaps?
Capt_Obvious 11
I just how this wasn't in the Dallas area...?!
Owltime22 12
I see that you are trying to hint that its Ebola, but seriously ( not just telling you but to everyone) just because someone is sick doesn't automatically mean its Ebola. And for the people trying to be funny or cute, guess what, your not. This is a very serious matter, and unless your trying to tell people how to prevent it or how to help the cure, its best not to spread worry to everyone.
Scarylizard1798 23
Bitches be trippin ??
thefmlman2011 37
That's nasty
kittyfrozen 19
give her a tight hug immediately!
amiran_09 10
Ebola! ?
siggy_mcsigx 22
Sounds like she was drunk
hk1998 8
Well she seems like a pleasant and caring person
vikky538 29
I donno who you are and where you are but I will find you.....And I am gonna throw up on you ---- quote...
captainsmegma 12
Could you at least tell what she had to eat? Then you'd be able to pick an appropriate wine to go with it.