Today, a girl puked on me. No warnings, nothing. She just threw up on me, then walked off like nothing even happened. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML
Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I was delivering packages as usual for work. I was dropping off a large letter to a hot girl. Before I turned to leave the girl opened her mouth to say something. Instead, she just vomited all over me. Her letter was my first delivery of the day. I had to finish my job covered in puke. FML
Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML
Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML
Today, I greeted my girlfriend with a spinning hug. She got motion sickness and threw up all over me. FML
Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML
Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
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Top comments
ochomurph 8
Find her and throw up on her
SamSwebb 24
I would have probably thrown up on her in response from the smell alone ... Thats disgusting! FYL
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Comments (93)
ochomurph 8
Find her and throw up on her
thevelociraptor 31
Bad plan.
littleteapot 21
Or bear hugged her.
AnOriginalName 19
I'd rather find her and give her a hug.
noah_1234 24
#20 i hope you didnt mean that
alexismw__ 9
No warnings, nothing.
LexiDaBae 17
i agree. walk up to her and engulf her in a hug. no warnings, no nothing.
dragonkisses28 25
It could've been worse, OP. I once had a patient who had explosive diarrhea...all over the front of my uniform, at the beginning of my shift. FYL.
chris4u2nv5 19
That's how u get ebola
shinikageWolf 15
If OP does I bet she replies in a whiny voice "OH MY GAWD! Why did you do that!?" In your best Batman voice reply "Pay back bitch"
sammo_64 3
That is not
TheSwegMaster69 11
…how you finish a sentence, try again.
karwank 13
I don't know who you are. But I will find you and I will puke on you
thelegendarycarl 12
Some people...
SamSwebb 24
I would have probably thrown up on her in response from the smell alone ... Thats disgusting! FYL
Brandi_Faith 34
My thought exactly! I'm pretty sure I would barf if someone puked on me. The smell...I can't even think about how gross this is!
Ichiya 29
If someone pukes on me they better hope it kills me because they will spend some time in the hospital otherwise.
MisterEx 28
Yes #45. Because beating up someone who is already sick enough to puke is an excellent idea and shows a great deal of bravery and dignity.
simsimbeep 13
If i see anyone throw up, i end up throwing up as well. OP you have some amazing control there!
tantanpanda 26
uh, doesn't mean you should throw up on someone. If they're that sick, they shouldn't be going anywhere. There's the floor too. The lady who barfed could have done so on the floor. Throwing up all over OP would warrent at least a slap in the face. She was clearly healthy enough to walk away like nothing happened.
Ichiya 29
If you aren't feeling well stay at home. Don't go out and spread it around.
kyuubi1 14
talk about a messy situation.
brivielle 15
You tried
ohSNAPyall 27
That one's not even a play on words. It's literally accurate.
ARetardedSeal 24
that really sucks, and she walks away like nothing happened.. terrible person
cakefete2 31
"Sucks"? Actually, it blows.
Miss_Whipped 43
Chunks. Lots of chunks.
ChristianH39 30
Blows chunks?
peanuty001 19
thats just disgusting. she was probably drunk
panicsdisaster 17
Goddammit junkies..
livinginabook 24
What is wrong with people anymore?!? my god -.-
ohSNAPyall 27
Ebola.
livinginabook 24
Sorry #57 but that is really not funny. people are dying.
MandyMeow_fml 18
I would have not just let her walk away after she threw up all over you.
Brandi_Faith 34
Chances are she was extremely drunk and wouldn't have been much help even if Op forced her to stay.
sydneysays 15
That's..really unpleasant
theheightofirony 5
I have no idea why, but your comment made me start laughing hysterically. Thank you :)