Today, I was delivering packages as usual for work. I was dropping off a large letter to a hot girl. Before I turned to leave the girl opened her mouth to say something. Instead, she just vomited all over me. Her letter was my first delivery of the day. I had to finish my job covered in puke. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML
Today, a girl puked on me. No warnings, nothing. She just threw up on me, then walked off like nothing even happened. FML
Today, I got to work feeling slightly unwell. A couple of hours later, an extremely attractive customer came to my till, at which point my body decided it would be a good idea to vomit last night's dinner all over myself and the customer. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I had to visit a new office building for a meeting. Halfway through the meeting, I got really nauseous and needed to throw up. I ran to find a bathroom, but got lost and ended up in a printing room. With no other option, I was forced to puke into a large envelope. FML
Today, I started my new job as a janitor at a store. The first thing that happened when I came in was another employee telling me that there was vomit in the restroom, and that I had to clean it up. Not only did I clean up vomit, I had to clean up the poop that made the kid puke in the first place. FML
Today, I was at my job as a dental assistant and I was told to take an X-ray of a woman's teeth. As soon as I put the foam piece into her mouth, she projectile-vomited all over me and the floor. I had just started my 5-hour shift. FML
Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML
Today, a mother and son were in my office. The kid wasn't feeling well and threw up. Mom covered his mouth with her hand, creating a vomit nozzle and covering me in puke. She yelled that I deserved to be sprayed on because I was not quick enough in getting a bucket for her son. FML
Today, after feeling sick all day at work, my shift was about to end. Twenty minutes before I was able to clock out, some kid puked all over herself in the playground. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Hellcrapdamn 0
You sure have a way with the ladies!
teehee520 0
Eww, definitely FYL.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (50)
teehee520 0
Eww, definitely FYL.
Deathlyranch 0
FYL. Gross Was she disgusted at your "package?"
sexymessy 0
LMAO. You made me laugh #5=) But yes fyl indeed OP! I kinda have a phobia of puke,if i see puke it makes me puke =(
My2864 1
if you were delivering .. why didnt you just go home n chance?
example947 0
then do you puke more because you see your own puke and then again and again in an endless cycle.
cs68507 0
Um yeah...i'd go in a store and buy a shirt that was similar color to my uniform. Then when I got back to work i'd put the shirt on to make my boss happy. No way i'd walk around all day covered in that. Hell i'd even go wash the shirt out in a sink and wear it wet all day. I'd rather show my id badge to each person to prove my employment than to be covered in vomit. that sucks dude!
sorainu 18
Unfortunately, FedEx and UPS drivers have some of the most stressful jobs. They have super tight schedules. Hence why they're usually terrible drivers.
wazdog 4
Should've gotten the girl to clean you up!
americayay 0
Why? I can't imagine your boss wanting you to walk around covered in throw up all day. It seems like you could've done SOMETHING. Even on a lunch break or something, you could've changed.
ak7987 0
yeah if she wasn't a bitch shedve washd urshirt
robertperson 0
LOLOLOL Did she ever tell u what she needed to tell you?
capilot 10
My money is on "stand back"
Hellcrapdamn 0
You sure have a way with the ladies!
gross__ 0
okay, so was saying that it was a 'hot girl' reallllyyy have anything to do with this FML?! -_-
nodbor 11
was go'na say that. would it have make more sense if she was ugly.
shaZamy 0
ew
EMR_fml 0
"I was dropping of (sic) a large letter to a hot girl" Why does it matter that the girl was hot? Would it have been better or worse if an ugly girl vomited on you? Also does the size of the letter really matter? This would have been better phrased as "I dropped off a letter to a girl".
mekeskidi_fml 0
If the girl were ugly he wouldn't be close enough to receive her puke. With a small letter, no need deliver in person.
fudrick 0
@#12 It would definitely be worse to be puked on by an ugly girl.
sexymessy 0
To # 12 I assumed he said "hot girl" because maybe he thought she was going to ask him out or something when she instead puked on him. And like #13 said a small letter would most likely fit in the mail box. Why does it bother you so much as to how the OP wrote the fml? Read it and move on!!!
EMR_fml 0
@ #13 & 18 In most workplaces all letters are delivered in person or left on the recipient's desk regardless of size. @ # 18 The reason the way the FML was worded bugs me is because so many details had to be left out because the OP ran out of characters. If the OP had phrased the anecdote more succinctly they might have been able to explain better why they couldn't have just changed uniforms instead of walking around covered in vomit.
mekeskidi_fml 0
If he wrote that he went home to change his shirt (I guess that what he actually did), you would comment "What a lame story, not worth to be published"