Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after a long night of partying, I was hanging out with this girl I really like. I was feeling really hungover, so we were just sitting at the park. She confessed to me that she's liked me since the day she met me. Out of excitement and hungoverness, I threw up on her shoes. FML
Today, while at a party, I ran into the girl I've liked for ages. I was so nervous, but I managed to keep the conversation going for a half hour. After mustering up the courage to ask her out on a date, her drunk, over-protective ex burst in and threw up on my shirt. Good timing, asswipe. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, I finally kissed the guy I really love at a party. He took me outside and immediately vomited. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML
Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML
Today, during my beloved's birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ReyEr9412 0
Reply to this. You know you want to.
Monikabug 9
It wasn't the smoothest response, but I am sure she understands. It was a party, it happens. Why don't you give her a call and apologize? That would be a start. Your life isn't over, you just need to take control of the situation.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (192)
ReyEr9412 0
Reply to this. You know you want to.
pinkpolsih 0
your right I do want to. :) and I did.
DGross 8
Adds a whole new meaning to giving her a piece of your mind... or make that pieces
ImaginaryFoe 1
Oooh, that felt good. Now back to the lower numbers where I belong.
YeahFMLxX 0
mmm I third the greater feelin of this reply :D
BrownSugar_fml 5
what felt good?
volcomst0ned 0
you already know
andruha1123 5
hi mom, hi dad, hi snickerdoodles !!!
Yee12 0
You can't make food while texting!
Frank155 5
I did :P and OP YDI
Yee12 0
YDI for having a tongue
AndreaHaha 0
doesn't almost everyone?
twist_of_fame93 0
on her? ya right. I call straight bs.
UberFail79 0
Why is it BS? Booze can make people do sone crazy stuff. Like steal your television. I think you shoul go check on it.
emmmilyyy 0
is your name Stan and her name Wendy?
Tripout 0
if op was really that drunk, how do we know she really said that, also, what if she was just as drunk. Can't call FYL or YDI
GuitarDude1996 0
that really sucked, man:)
adriana012 0
Charming.
Melvar_10 3
no I don't! damn.... I did
chromeLegend 0
Most likely she was drunk too. Don't worry about it.
Blue_Coconuts 7
It's not the meanest thing you could have done. Trust me on that.
epiclyamazinly 0
yup that's digusting. TURN OFF. I bet she doesn't like you anymore haha. that's what you get for being plasterd. :)
o0XMzMayX0o 0
52 hahaha good one!!!
ladykat 0
Sounds like she made you nervous!! I would go with that excuse. Tell her that you like her too and that you nervously threw up, deny the whole drunk thing. Ask her if you can make it up to her with dinner, and hopefully it can be a great story to tell your kids.... P.S. Try not to screw it up by puking on her again!
bella_coza 0
It sounds alot like Superbad to me.....
smartman136 8
no alen has a smaller mouth
smartman136 8
@69 uf fuckd tht old hag will say yes and imagine sex wth a grammar nazi
smartman136 8
98 was a reply to 41
guyy22 0
I'll reply and OP FYL and YDI
iheartxaly 0
Ha ha.
fdent8193 0
DGross is sexyyyy lol
Ms_Jessie22 8
Yeah if you were soo drunk OP than how can you recall this situation with such clarity?I'm gonna call wishful thinking on this one.
StoryOfTheYear 15
yes, it is disgusting, but if she reeeeally liked you like she says, this wouldn't be that big of a deal, really bad but if she doesn't still want you after this she doesn't know how to get over things, especially accidents
DonkeyDelight 0
Hello son/daughter.
goldenone 2
is your name possibly Stan and hers Wendy?
c0nfuzzled 0
this is f her life. I mean a simple no wouldve been good enough
deathcab7 0
ewwie.
jpest17 5
the op could be a girl O.O
jpest17 5
least you dident give her a black eye?
InCaged_Insanity 0
is this your only pick up line?
SubjectDelta 0
Puking on a femanon? I salute you good sir, we welcome you with open arms to this wonderful place called the interwebs, I'm sure you'll fit in grand next to Tinkerbell and generic akward bf/gf sex lines. So go on, take a seat perfect clarity piss drunk story, we have much to discuss.
kaytlinblindsey 0
drunks tell the truth (:
Cricketiscool 0
He gave way more than his mind. haha.
Tripout 0
# 69 (relentless14) SNICKS WILL NEVER MARRY U. CUZ SHES MARRING ME ...She just doesn't know it yet
persianality 0
how did u kno I wanted to reply??
StoryOfTheYear 15
who would want to marry snickerdoodles, she ain't old nuf to marry anyway
Peacemaker9 7
ya there's goes ur shot of getting laid by her heck even ur shot of going out with her !!!!!!! dam u just ****** up big time with the good ol 2 fir 1 deal!!!! lol
puga29 0
I agree with 111, you were drunk enough to puke all over, yet you remember the things she said? Hmmmm...
cunningchick 1
You knew I couldent resist:))
philipino 24
Keeping it going :D
babybubz 0
braaaaaaavo
afatmonkey 0
Sarcastic humor at it's best.
jth9 0
lol :p
metalhead256 0
yup thats the way to hit on a chick puke on them when there telling you how much they like you
cristallynn 0
things happen xD
MXavierT 0
Atleast he didn't knock her out and drop a dues on her.
girlsrockmysocks 0
@62 ur cute
paigeatsflesh 11
I bet she liked itt.
girlsrockmysocks 0
so r u 121
paigeatsflesh 11
if you are saying that I'm cute then thank you(:
girlsrockmysocks 0
hells yea I was sayin ur cute ;)
Sinisin2010 0
Girlsrockmysocks how ugly are you that you don't have a picture on here? hahahahaha, cybermacking at it's finest!!! Quit being lazy and add one...as far as the FML this reminds me of Superbad but opposite and that's funny!@!
cristallynn 0
erm thanks :D
jetpackzach 5
@133 haha nice....
Ms_Jessie22 8
Sinisin2010 is right, dude you gotta stop being a creeper if we can't even see what you look like. Besides you don't even know if those girls' pictures are actually them. Oh and Sinisin...you are a hottie
cristallynn 0
pfft you think I'm fake? funny. look at marley xD
SubjectDelta 0
112, I wasn't aware FML was a dating site...
paigeatsflesh 11
you actually think I'm a fake...? look at my picture... it's not all that great. and yeah Marley is deff a fake.
Ms_Jessie22 8
Crystallyn, I don't really think you're fake I was merely pointing out that on the internet not everyone is who they say they are.
cristallynn 0
how could you misspell my name it's right there :[ jeesh it's Cristal not crystal
lovelyred 0
that's a nice way to say hi.
maddie1 0
wow smooth
MXavierT 0
Or chunky, depending on what he ate.
Nena713 0
smooth moove
ericownz101 0
mmm black eye, black suit, black car, and black taco!! ^_^
Jhonny_C123 0
YDI for not controlling your stomach :)
ImaginaryFoe 1
At the very least he should've controlled his neck. Throwing up in front of her, next to her, behind her, around her, anywhere else but on her would have been much better. Just tell her you're her Stan. Almost forgot, YDI!
pandemic_fml 0
WIN. I was waiting for someone to make a South Park reference.
lawlfyl 0
Haha. Nice. It definitely reminded me of South Park first thing.
_swimcutie_ 0
wooooooow..good impression?! :)
fisheatsbear 6
YDI for not knowing how to control your involuntary functions
MXavierT 0
Win.
BrownSugar_fml 5
1) You deserve it for not holding your liquor. and B) hope you tried to help her clean up! hahahaha