Today, this girl I've been talking to texted me, saying she was going to visit. Trying to be sweet, I bought her $50 worth of chocolate and a cute card. Turns out she meant to send that text to her ex. Seems like the only thing I'll get from this relationship is diabetes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I texted the girl I'm going to homecoming with in a couple days to say hi. The conversation started OK, but then morphed into her saying that she doesn't feel anything between us, and wants to stop being friends after the dance. I have to buy her dinner and a ticket, out of my own wallet. FML
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend saying she needed more phone credit, so I bought her more and got another message saying "Great, now I have enough credit for this..." as she spelled out a three page message breaking up with me. Yes, I paid for her to break up with me via text. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me after I told her I found out I have diabetes. She thought it was an STD and I had cheated on her. So I explained what it really was and she dumped me again because she didn't want her future children to inherit my fucked up DNA. FML
Today, I sent the girl I like a Twinkie with a note saying "Enjoy! You deserve it". I found out later through an angry email that someone had written "you damn fatty" on the end of the note. FML
Today, I was meal-planning for the week, and sent my fiancee a grocery list with the stuff I needed. She ignored the list and bought nothing but junk food. I guess we can just eat cookie dough and sugar cereal, and die of diabetes in our fifties. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because, she says, I have diabetes and she can’t handle the complications that may occur in the future. This after I arranged for her to take trip to Italy to ride horses, which has been on her bucket list for like 10 years. FML
Today, I was texted out of the blue by a girl I treated to dinner last year. Since then, we'd chatted and met in passing a few times, but she'd turned down or cancelled all my other date invitations. Sadly, she wasn't trying to meet up. She wanted $500 to benefit a male friend, who was down on his luck. FML
Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams, the girl I've loved for 3 years. I went to her desk and surprised her with roses, chocolates, and played “All I Want for Christmas is You.” She said no. On top of that, she ate all the chocolates. FML
Today, my girlfriend made a delicious birthday breakfast, and she said there would be a surprise at the end. Today is not my birthday, it's her ex's. FML
Today, after buying my girlfriend an expensive gift for her birthday, cooking her breakfast in bed, and treating her all day ending with dinner and cake at her parents, she burst into tears and said the whole day was ruined. Why? I forgot to buy her a birthday card. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MandyMeow_fml 18
Why would you buy fifty dollars worth of chocolate.. That's so much chocolate.
CryosFear 14
Who needs a girlfriend, I've got chocolate...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (80)
MandyMeow_fml 18
Why would you buy fifty dollars worth of chocolate.. That's so much chocolate.
noah_1234 24
atleast now you can cover the feeling of rejection with chocolate... nothing beats alone time with some chocolate.
LexiDaBae 17
yeah. the only time you should buy a girl fifty dollars worth of chocolate is when it's that time of month...
sweetbliss3 37
19- I don't care what time of month it is, no one needs 50 dollars worth of chocolate. way too much.
cakefete2 31
Everyone seems to assume it's expensive because of quantity. Isn't it possible that it was a normal amount but just really high quality.
Brandi_Faith 34
I assumed it was $50 worth of high quality chocolate, but still that's too much to spend on any chocolate in any circumstance, in my opinion, let alone for someone you're not even dating!
rdenkewicz 11
He did it To fatten her up, lower her self-esteem and win her over as a result. His plan is diabolical! Mwahaha! >:)
vikky538 29
he must have bought that from Godiva... they are costly...
ohSNAPyall 27
Maybe OP just had a big Payday.
jkmartinjk 16
In the chocolate shop in our local mall you can easily spend $50 without getting a lot of chocolate. Just quality I suppose.
CryosFear 14
Who needs a girlfriend, I've got chocolate...
thelegendarycarl 12
Hey at least you can drown your sorrows in $50 worth of chocolate!!! But still FYL that sucks.
SamSwebb 24
Thats a LOT of chocolate though ...
doodlecloud 27
Agreed. I think if I was just chatting to a guy and he bought me THAT much chocolate I'd be kind of creeped out. Not a dealbreaker, but my initial impression would be 'way more into me than I'm into him, possibly obsessive/clingy'.
vbmah 12
Why didn't you buy cheap flowers instead?
Enslaved 38
Flowers < Chocolate
TanzWolf 26
Give it to her anyways, I'd say. If she's a friend she'd appreciate it. Well, anyone would appreciate that :P
Cribgush 5
sounds like you're moving kinda fast...
Brandi_Faith 34
I agree. $50 bucks on chocolate is a lot of money to spend in any situation but especially someone you're not even dating. Take it slow because she may find you too pushy and moving too fast if she doesn't have feelings for you yet, and it may be over before its begun.
fishstick557 14
If she's still hungover by her past then there's no reason for you to stay or try to make a relationship. You'll find someone new to give that much chocolate to and I'm sure she'll love it.
Brandi_Faith 34
I see what you're saying, but I think it's still worth trying to be her friend. Everybody could use another friend and if you're friends there's always the possibility of the relationship growing into something else later on.
TanzWolf 26
That doesn't mean she's obsessed with past relationships... It's possible to be friends with an ex. Maybe not the same, but it is possible.
euphoricness 28
I'm sure if you mention that to her, she'll realize what she's been missing out on and come over to your place right away!
foxwasalamb 24
then shed be using him