Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML
Today, I sneaked into my girlfriend's house for some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6'5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house for the first time. I had to use the restroom, and when I came back, I mocked her brothers' lame Pokémon shower curtain and Ninja Turtle towels. Turns out they were hers. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML
Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower. Instead, I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML
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Top comments
twofirstnames 12
Great way to meet the parents...
SW500 13
Why would they do that while anyone but the family was over?
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Comments (90)
Choonie 1
Why don't you knock?
DocBastard 40
"Hi, nice to meet you. Hey, that's the same position your daughter and I use! "
awagh666 14
"my daughter has buttsex? She grew up pretty soon huh..."
wytang 3
It's bussecks.
CryMoreFMLs 15
26 - Why do you have sex with a bus?
shalya12 0
Oh shit just got real. Y u so stupid! No male fun of gf!
AnagenisisZagus 13
Herp derp derp?
Red_Wing_Nut44 14
Could you say that again? Preferably in English?
KiddNYC1O 22
Sighh :pinches nose:
makowiec 11
The FML's are getting more original lately xD
alexalex224 0
What a great first impression they must have of you. And you of them.
ontariowarrior 3
If this was me I would just laugh it off... Who am I kidding it was most likely old people because you are you are around 16 and up. So her parents are 38 and up... :P
Justin23L 2
38 is old?
annagilbert 6
yes ^
ClaremoreZebra 8
38's pretty young. My parents are in their fifties and I'm only almost 17. But they kick ass an I love em. But having a kid at 22 would make him 16 when they are thirty eight. People have kids up in the late forties all the time. So that's not technically old...
jbear380 0
38 is old? That statement makes me feel ancient. My daughter is 14, I'm 65.
afunnyterdcody 5
Yea having a kid at 40..... Isn't planned
DocBastard 40
Having a kid at 40 isn't planned? My 38-year old wife and I had a very well-planned son last year. Care to make any other completely uninformed statements?
tdawg4200 0
Life ends at 30. Sure you may still feel young, but that's when everything starts heading south and from the looks of old people it's a long way back.
ProhibitionRose 14
My mother-in-law is pushing her 50s and she's got a 3 year old and a 6 year old. I would like to think 38-40s is a prime age to be at. Most people have steady careers and feel that it's a more stable upbringing for kids.
SammyS2012 21
Actually, these days, women plan their children around 40 so they can work for a portion of their life instead of having children when you dont have money...
DeathbatAttack 17
You should have had a competition, seeing who could be louder, them or you and their daughter.
sammyjanette 17
Wow. I thought walking in on my own mom doing that would be horrible to see, but someone else's mom?! I cannot imagine the horror.
ClaremoreZebra 8
I'd rather see my girlfriends moms rack than my own mothers. Da **** are you from? Arkansas?
Vulpes21 6
I would rather see someone else mom than my own mom for sure.
TunechiXXL 0
43 - Must be Arkansas, they have all the fun there......
fthku 13
Who the **** would rather see their own parents having sex than some other couple? OP, FYL for dating an immature girl.
bearnblue 0
So, did you ever find that bathroom?
annagilbert 6
and that is your cue to pounce on your girlfriend.