Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML
Today, I sneaked into my girlfriend's house for some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6'5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house for the first time. I had to use the restroom, and when I came back, I mocked her brothers' lame Pokémon shower curtain and Ninja Turtle towels. Turns out they were hers. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML
Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower. Instead, I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML
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Top comments
twofirstnames 12
Great way to meet the parents...
SW500 13
Why would they do that while anyone but the family was over?
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Comments (90)
twofirstnames 12
Great way to meet the parents...
bosskidz20 2
Threesome?
norotors 16
Foursome?
TylerBurden 21
Oh, you have met two fockers finally.
TylerBurden 21
The*
KeyboardWarrior 10
You should have asked them where the bathroom was!
blackheart24 10
Monkey see, monkey do.
taco_bender 12
Shake hands and intorduce your self. Unless ur chicken
zack11742 7
Honestly best thing ever now go tell you're GF then right after say how horny you are
KeyboardWarrior 10
95 - "Hey honey. I was just looking for the bathroom, and I walked in on your parents going at it doggy style. It made me soooo horny! So if you aren't still mad..." Hmm. A bit creepy, but to each his own.
at_1sexymofo 3
I guess knocking on the door was rude -_-
fromthesuck 8
See this as a win. You now have information that can get her to break her silence
XX_getsome38_XX 1
That must have put op in a pissy mood
norotors 16
Well that blows.
alpaquette91 9
I mean was it a Mansion it's not hard to find a bathroom... And bathroom doors are a wee bit smaller than a bed room door. Now I'd understand if you walked into a closet ...
Posiedon57 0
And so does the mom!
GothicAngel17 24
-46 ... Perhaps he did walk into a closet, and that's where he met the parents?
The_Hitdude 12
45-Where in rhis FML did you see OP mention that his girlfriend had a Mansion?
Enslaved 38
All my doors are the exact same size. To me, bathrooms are easy to figure out. All you need to do is look at the bottom of the door and look for the marble thresholds. Most bathrooms have those.(:
ugh_a_lug 7
At my house the doors are all the same size and you can't see far enough under the door (without laying on the ground) to see the floor. So, I understand his problem. The parents should have a lock!
simgar98 0
maybe they had sex in the bathroom?
SW500 13
Why would they do that while anyone but the family was over?
RahmEsHestos 5
The world will never know.
GirlYouNasty 11
Maybe they were just super horny and couldn't control themselves. It's not excusable, but haven't you ever strongly had that urge to ****?
Jannettecooks 1
They're married and it's their house. They can **** whenever they want!!!
amanda_d95 9
Yea, but not when they're supposed to be watching their daughter and her boyfriend to prevent them from doing what they were doing themselves
FrecklestheClare 6
My parents have done it many times... They probably don't think anyone will hear or find out. Or, ya know, they don't care.
ProhibitionRose 14
The real question is why the hell didn't he knock?!
tdawg4200 0
Prevent it? Prude alert!
dustbunny10 0
It's their house, they can do whatever they want! It's also likely that they got it on thinking no one's home, and the daughter decided to come home with the boyfriend and ruin their fun!
laurietorie 0
Nothing like a great first impression
yahoowizard 16
Fastest way to get introduced to people
datoismyname 22
Hello Mr. and Mrs. ****.....I mean Smith. *cough*
MatheusRajuidas 5
That's just ******-up...
Samberriee 9
Sounds like a sticky situation.
ant1078 7
Sticky?... Really??
CryMoreFMLs 15
17 - There is always that one retard...
demonmonkey 13
That didn't work at all....
DWilliamson 7
Cute pic, sammie
MatheusRajuidas 5
136 - When you add a bit of cuteness to stupidity, it's still stupid. If you add a bit of stupidity to cuteness, it becomes kinda stupid. Conclusion? Stupidity is stronger.
jizzwold 21
When you have resorted to hitting on girls on the Internet I don't think stupidity is going to matter much.
Buttsexpirate 9
Hope the surprise didn't make you pee yourself.
nofearjenshere 12
Or ****.
The_Troller 14
Or punch someone.
kimmy91 12
Teacher of the year...
Branflakes78 13
Teacher? what are you talking about
Swiftly 0
Wrong FML man...
notsorandomguy 18
Wrong FML
LuxAeterna_fml 0
How embarrassing.
Meme1988 18
What lesson had we learnd today?! NEVER make fun of your girlfriend
addiizcherry 0
Sometimes jokes can be offensive by accident- my overly sensitive friend and O were talking about our elementary school- and I said they had no control over bullying and she was like "no, it's an a school" and I said "it is, but that doesn't mean the people there were nice" and she was offended, even though I was in different classes.
AnagenisisZagus 13
^Congratulations?
tdawg4200 0
No, the lesson is get a funnier girlfriend.
CrocodilePolice 5
I guess there are two ways to meet your new girlfriends parents! You definitely went down the path of most resistance.
GothicAngel17 24
I mainly thumbed your comment up for your username xD
danishbagel 3
I'm going to punch the first person who says "THREESOME? " right in the ******* head.
CrocodilePolice 5
THREESOME? Come at me bro.
homeboyangst 17
You're too late, #8 already said it haha.
ontariowarrior 3
THREESOME? Come at US bro.
uwantacookie 5
Look outside..... I'm waiting.
datoismyname 22
I mean technically you said threesome first so you should punch yourself in the face.
taco_bender 12
Ill help with the first hit
zombicidal 11
crocodilepolice welcome to FML I think you're going to do well here
Wtfeezy 5
Threesome! Join in the fun. Get at yo boy bruh
Calyx_fml 22
Foursome!
phatdaddy62 23
THREE WAY!
MonsterCommenter 4
its okay, i'll help danishbagel kick all the dudes asses that want a threesome. I got your back bro. UNITE AGAINST STUPIDITY
jessicawuvsya 0
Hey that's funny NOT
T1A2Z3 35
Honey... you said it....