Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML
Today, I sneaked into my girlfriend's house for some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6'5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house for the first time. I had to use the restroom, and when I came back, I mocked her brothers' lame Pokémon shower curtain and Ninja Turtle towels. Turns out they were hers. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML
Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower. Instead, I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML
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Top comments
twofirstnames 12
Great way to meet the parents...
SW500 13
Why would they do that while anyone but the family was over?
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Comments (90)
blink182AAR 6
This whole situation is kinda ****** up... Maybe choose a girl who's more mature and doesn't have weird parents who **** each other when guests are over. (:
immaMonsta 8
What if her parents didn't know OP was over?
HannahWho 8
Wouldn't that be the best time to have sex? Since your daughter would be preoccupied with her friends, and not likely to want you around? So you can have sex without worrying your daughter will be bored and come knocking.
MargieDrury 1
Perhaps the bathroom is the other way.
gabrielle01 0
No shit...
MargieDrury 1
Hey bro! It was a statement op could have said which would made the awkward confrontation a little lighter.
T1A2Z3 35
Do we have any evidence they weren't in the bathroom?
Gencade 0
Threesome?
MargieDrury 1
I liked your comment , but your still in the negatives:/sorry lol
Senseless_487 29
Yeah...you're about 33 comments too late...but I do enjoy reading the same thing over and over again from people who don't read comments before posting one themselves. Keep it up!
acotapus 1
Looks like 13 finally has some work to do.
ClaremoreZebra 8
Unless if his girlfriend's dad has a "little problem"...
immaMonsta 8
That was pretty immature of your girlfriend. She should've just told you since it was your first time at her house, or at least she could've shown you around beforehand.
tj4234 36
at least the parents didn't walk in on you railing her
thisbitchlys 0
OW OW.
FMLsOhilarious 6
Now go nail your girl to get even.
perdix 31
You should have told them the joke and let them tell you if it was a good one. Old people can multi-task during sex. I often do sudoku while in the act ;)
thewife5 19
Then you are not having good sex.. Unless that was the not funny joke, cuz you nailed that at least
alki_fml 5
At least you got an awesome story to tell out of it!