This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.
Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML
Today, and for the past 13 months, I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML
Today, I was fired for having a haircut that was 'inappropriate for the workplace'. I have alopecia. My boss told me to stop making up excuses. FML
Today, I was told that I looked like a Kardashian by a total stranger. Flattered, I asked which one. His response? "I don't know, the ugly one." FML
Today, a guy punched me in the subway for staring at his girlfriend. I had dark glasses on, and was fast asleep. FML
Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML
Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML
Today, the guy I was seeing texted me a photo back of myself I had sent him earlier, saying I'm such a beautiful woman, suggesting that I set it as my profile pic. Too bad he doesn't think I'm pretty enough without a lot of enhancements, because he photoshopped the hell out of that thing. FML
Today, I heard a girl say, "Darth Vader is that black guy from Star Trek, right?" FML
Today, I caught a coworker at my new job staring at my chest. Trying not to rock the boat, I took him aside and asked him to stop. He insisted he was just trying to read my shirt. Our company uniforms don't have writing on them. FML
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Top comments
iMeganDoll 8
What the ****? How could people vote YDI? People these days...
juturnaamo 29
You should have pulled it out, and said "No, thank you, but shalom"
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Comments (70)
oh_your_god 15
Good thing indeed...
Yetifoot 0
It'll be a good thing for op when the nazi finds out he's a Jew!
kwchambers92 10
Put the sheenie curse on him *insert racial slur here*
ydi_4_suking 20
Sorry for asking but is Jew a religion or a race? Is it like saying Christians is a race or am I way off?
kwchambers92 10
13 it's a species!!
amazinglyHappy 6
Being Jewish Is A Religion, But Mistreatment of them falls under racism.
Yetifoot 0
13: Jews are a religion but people make them seem like a race.
ImFrackinBored 13
wtf...
enonymous 9
It's not a "Star of David" it's Ninja Stars...
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
I once showed up to a neo nazi meeting as a black Jew. They beat me up and threw me out. I then sued them and won $1 million in compensation. I then bought their homes and built gospel churches and synagogues. True story.
DynamicDave 11
You should have cut his jugular with it.
kareltje 17
#44 - I'm Bill Clinton. Monica was a blast...
P1tchB14ck 6
OP should have slowly pulled out the star while the nazi was talking ^.^
howdmynosego 12
Stupid neos giving whites a bad name!!!
eddie25 2
The Star of david is different from the ninja stars
blobs1907 3
get him arrested
iMeganDoll 8
What the ****? How could people vote YDI? People these days...
asselhoff 5
I know what you mean...
floopyflooper 2
Trollers? Lol how could you even ask that question?
ihasbrains 10
You mean other neo-nazis?
sarahmcgeee 5
in pretty sure anyone who dislikes a person of Jewish faith would vote ydi
bitchwhore 20
I accidentally ydi'd on mobile and can't take it back :(
docscientist 10
73 Neo-nazis voted ydi, without realizing the irony of the fml.
isquaredkeepingitreal 24
You can't take it back if you accidentally click.
Tsunami87 17
I hope you crushed his little fantasy
kwchambers92 10
She put the sheenie curse on him, but hey, to each his own
bizarre_ftw 22
Says Jesus in an FML involving religion lol
kwchambers92 10
"I smoked something the other night, and I think this shit was laced, because I went out right away and got these tattoos on my eyelids to make it look while I was sleeping that people would think I was awake" :)
freelife571 4
Heil Mein Fuhrer! Oh wait, hes dead.
juturnaamo 29
You should have pulled it out, and said "No, thank you, but shalom"
arcticdoctorwho 0
That would most likely get her killed, so that is probably not a good idea.
twilight_lupus 13
Yeah. Some of those people aren't right in the head. They can be quite unpredictable.
juturnaamo 29
I work with a disappointingly high number of racists, and most of them have never assaulted anyone.(I had to chew someone out because he said someone being cheap was 'being a Jew about it...I'm ok though!)
WallyTheWombat 0
He said it because Jews are stereotyped to be cheap and greedy. I hear shit like that all the time, "Hey! The cashier Jewed me out of my change!" They are just stereotypes, not really anything to get mad over unless it turns violent or something.
Grimmerie 31
106, that doesn't mean it's not offensive. You can't look at a store that's been robbed and go "damn n*ggers," so why can you judge Jews in the same manner?
patorick 0
Trust me OP I've been there. I just punched the guy in the face. Neo-Nazi are just idiots
StoryOfTheYear 15
I've always wondered how a neo-nazi is able survive. Not even McDonalds would hire them and I havent heard of any Nickels for Nazis programs to support them.
Fatalist_ 2
They survive because goverment needs them.
THE_A_TEEN 28
What does the U.S. gov't want with neo-nazis?
BrokenDreamer24 15
86- Information. Just in case another Hitler or someone of their f'ed up beliefs pop. I want to know weather to start packing now or go kick some Neo-Nazi ass.
RA661 8
Ah those times are over, don't worry. Though their beliefs still live on. But what can ya do, amirite?
codywade 0
I agree
i_iz_awesome 0
So did you follow him ;)?
sydie5 12
This FML cannot be twisted into something sexual. Stop trying.
THE_A_TEEN 28
#9, You are opposite of what your username says about you...
heyimallison 0
WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU. no. just no.
DropBearHunter 8
Dont sweat it OP, once the Zionist coup d'etat is successful you can pretty much make him your bitch.
s0m3guy2010 21
Abominations such as neo-Nazis?
britasif27 5
Wow this 2011 time to move forward yes??