Creep
Today, I caught a coworker at my new job staring at my chest. Trying not to rock the boat, I took him aside and asked him to stop. He insisted he was just trying to read my shirt. Our company uniforms don't have writing on them. FML
Today, I caught a coworker at my new job staring at my chest. Trying not to rock the boat, I took him aside and asked him to stop. He insisted he was just trying to read my shirt. Our company uniforms don't have writing on them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML
Today, I took my printer to work because the one in my office is broken. When I tried to leave, my boss stopped me and accused me of stealing it from the office. Nobody would believe me when I explained. Now my boss has a new printer. FML
Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML
Today, my company was having a huge party so I went to work dressed in my best outfit. During lunch break, my boss said to me, "You really missed out on something yesterday, it was great fun!" FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that, "It's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML
Today, I was fired for having a haircut that was 'inappropriate for the workplace'. I have alopecia. My boss told me to stop making up excuses. FML
Today, I found out that mishearing my boss and laughing at what I thought he said can make him think I'm high and nearly force me to submit to a drug test. FML
Today, a guy punched me in the subway for staring at his girlfriend. I had dark glasses on, and was fast asleep. FML
Today, I overheard my boss stressing out over finding a replacement for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML
Today, at the local swimming pool, my friend and I noticed two cute guys had just arrived. When they jumped in, we immediately took off our tank tops and got in the opposite end. They looked over at us, then looked at each other, got out of the pool and left. FML
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Top comments
plaguer 26
Actually a lot of girls get breast reductions because incredibly large breasts can hurt the back.
yuzuhere 21
Maybe he was reading the fine print!
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Comments (86)
Caliborn_06 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Gotta love boobies!!! :)
emeraldisle 30
As a female I have to admit they're pretty great.
ICastillo 25
Yup big or small you gotta love them all.
Nutty4Muffs 3
All boobs are special in their own way.
Kefka91 15
"Uh, excuse me, my eyes are up here." "Yeah, but your boobs are down there."
TheStoryOfWazza 9
You can't leave them out there and expect no one to look.
Tgyr34 0
It's his right to look if he wants to. As long as he isn't harassing you, it's fine.
tjv3 10
Well rock his world and flash him. He will stop staring. We only stare because we want to see them.
RedMosquito 4
Could have been worse. He could have tried reading Braille!
ICastillo 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well, you probably have a nice pair. So you should be happy.
94yhy 8
You should use them to your advantage against him… Or just file a complaint.
Tweekz14 5
Actually alot of girls who have big boobs get breast reduction because it attracts almost nothing but perverts. Some say having big boobs sucks.
plaguer 26
Actually a lot of girls get breast reductions because incredibly large breasts can hurt the back.
Tweekz14 5
That too.
wlddog 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Making your boobs smaller on purpose is a crime. If your back hurts its because I have serious mommy issues and keep humping you from behind until a disk slips.
reddudeover 2
31 - Why couldn't you have stopped at make it a crime, see that's funny. The rest is just makes you seem like a misogynistic douche. -_-
princesskb 1
I am not fat and I work in a fast paced job 6 days a week. My boobs hurt my back.
TarieBoo 2
31- carry your own set of DD and see how you feel after a long day-.-
br0ccoli 15
31-Boobs can weigh a lot. Tomorrow, you should put 8 pounds inside a backpack and wear it for 10 hours straight. See how you feel. I don't have big boobs so nobody PM me, mmkay? I just knew people were boobylicious.
emeraldisle 30
31- as a guy please stfu. You have no idea what you're babbling about.
Rei_Ayanami 18
They never said they have big boobs, they could be small/medium and stared at all the same.
ThecomingofTan 9
41- ****. Um, when you log in you may see you have 10 new messages. Pay no attention to them, and they're most definitely not from me.
KM96 24
What are you on about 70? This has nothin to do with the FML!
wlddog 14
I have a 30 pound belly and I work outside 10-12 hour days. My back doesn't hurt. Every woman I have seen that complains about their chest being too big outweighs me and could use exercise. You figure it out.
schmelia 10
Fat around your stomach has a much lower centre of gravity - its not the same as having breasts. And if you're overweight yourself, should you really be criticising others anyway?
comeatmebroo6254 1
Haha. 69 people liked this comment. ... Yeah I'm mature.
hbbs93 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Haha well at least he had a clever excuse.
Roflsauruz 12
47- Exactly. What he said was not very "clever" because there was no writing on her shirt in the first place. That was a fail. :/
kasumirock 13
Pretty sure that was a sarcastic statement about it being clever.
zoPwNAgEzo 21
You gotta give him credit though, that was a pretty good on the spot excuse
hecallsmedarlin 7
Not really considering there is no writing what so ever on their company uniforms... Meaning even if there was writing, his would say the same considering it is a uniform... Haha.
buck33 14
He probably had used it before!
zingline89 18
I'm definitely picturing this coworker as Ron Burgundy. "I'm actually returning these today...to the...the pants store"
ismaeljrgomez 6
Just be happy that it wasn't your boss. -_-
sexygurllolz 1
Stop showing off your tities then
egc573 40
Unless she works at Hooters, I doubt her workplace would make women wear shirts that show off their "tities". The man was going to look no matter what. Don't blame her for his unprofessional behavior.
sexygurllolz 1
take a joke, also we both don't know how she dresses like
plaguer 26
The only joke is your spelling.
ferrousWheel 6
well, seeing as how she described the company uniforms in the FML, we can conclude that that's what she was wearing. Otherwise, why would she talk about it?
Colonel_Lexi 18
19, everything 16 typed is spelled correctly. The only joke would be her grammar.
IW_RIOT 7
The only joke is you people for complaining about her spelling and grammar on the Internet
egc573 40
Actually, as I pointed out, "tities" is not the correct spelling. So the spelling and grammar are both wrong.
plaguer 26
Thanks, 115. Shameful that wasn't caught by 99.
eman1972 4
I don't see why everyone's giving you the thumbs down. I gave you thumbs up.
Colonel_Lexi 18
115, I'm pertaining to her SECOND response("Take a joke, also we both don't know how she dresses like"). Everything in that particular statement is spelled correctly.
egc573 40
Well, even then you're still wrong to correct 19. I'm pretty certain that she was referring to the spelling error in the first comment, which is a pretty glaring one. (Just wanted to clear that up. I'm not looking to start an argument.)
plaguer 26
140 is absolutely correct. Two comments, one has a spelling error, one doesn't, and you think I'm referring to the one without mistakes? Let's try and keep up.
girlfromhellxD 4
..can't say much yourself ;)
Airman1988 9
Hah he's quick on his feet...not
emeraldisle 30
Seems like a good excuse to me.
Lightcrusade 9
I would convince you there is invisible writing on your shirt, and then charm you back to my mom's place.