Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML
Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML
Today, I was getting one of the best blow jobs I have ever received. My girlfriend was getting into it when I heard an "uh oh". Her tongue ring got twisted around the hair close to my balls. She started to pull, I started to scream. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML
Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend oral sex when he pulled away without warning. As I looked up at him to see what was wrong, he screamed "JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE!" and shot his load in my eyes. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML
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Top comments
felidsentry 17
He'll never look at a pussy the same way again.
hunny797 5
Was that a threesome??
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Comments (109)
gracehi 33
Well, of course the car was mad. That was HIS bed and HIS woman!
Geometric 18
Those damn Priuses, they can be incredibly possessive.
Dcm210 19
Was that a typo?
Gixie 25
Hehehe. Your username is very appropriate.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Sounds like something out of a cheap horror movie
hannaaaahr 33
what kind of horror movies do you watch that have angry cats in them?
sens3sfailing 25
the creature from the black little box.
iGottaFindBubbah 12
Cat's Eye. The cat would suck the breath out of a child in her sleep.
witchdoctor1 9
Scary movie 2. "My pussys Gone crazy!!! "
superrocket19 17
I'm scared of this now.....
Hamz1989 13
You must've done something to upset the pussy in the past so it was seeking revenge when your vulnerable.
BlowinChronic 18
You're*
wheresthebeef69 4
Your cat is AWESOME!
testestestes123 4
Cats suck. Dogs are better. Eeh?
freakinglaugher 10
Technically, OP is the only one sucking.
iGottaFindBubbah 12
I love cats. Dogs take a lot more time and work.
superrocket19 17
What did this comment say?
tskat2 3
Your so cool
Since1998 20
Feeling pretty good that I moderated this. Awesome job on getting your fml through! made me chuckle.
karlcolt45 19
my girlfriend always put her cat out of her room um..during. it just feels like he's not old enough to watch hahaha
yeti37 16
Calico vs fellatio