Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML
Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML
Today, I was getting one of the best blow jobs I have ever received. My girlfriend was getting into it when I heard an "uh oh". Her tongue ring got twisted around the hair close to my balls. She started to pull, I started to scream. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML
Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend oral sex when he pulled away without warning. As I looked up at him to see what was wrong, he screamed "JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE!" and shot his load in my eyes. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML
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Top comments
felidsentry 17
He'll never look at a pussy the same way again.
hunny797 5
Was that a threesome??
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Comments (109)
skyeyez9 25
Cats still seem like wild animals to me. Especially when you see them stalk and hunt down a bird. And if your average housecat was 100 pounds vs 12, they would hunt their owner down, torture their "prey" till bored, then eat them.
artinwords 14
Its called playing with it and not all cats are like this. I have one who hunts dragon flys and one who hunts mice and lizards both of them let them go alive once theyve caught them cause its sport not to kill. Also a 12 lb. house cat is very fat average is 5 to 7. You cat haters are ridiculous. And before im called a cat person my rotties would beg to differ.
CharresBarkrey 16
77 - You're aware that if you die, your cat WILL eat you eventually, right? For that simple fact, I am a dog person.
skyeyez9 25
My best friend has two cats, one is a maine coon which is a very large 15 lb cat (not fat) and an ocicat. Both love to bring decapitated birds and leave them on her doorstep as presents. And I never said I hated cats! I love animals, but can't have a cat because I am allergic to them. I have 2 dogs instead.
artinwords 14
Its on you for not closing he door. I mean really
EpicBlondie89 19
I can see how this is a fyl, but I couldn't help laughing at the image in my head.
paprika_pilipili_fml 14
What was your cat doing in your room ???
noelasis94 18
I'm always cautious around cats you don't know how they'll react to you but wow that's another level right there at least the cat didn't wanna take his dick off
picante72 24
So did it actually claw his face off two seconds later?
DDCA 24
It seems your pussy was jealous.
SirWTF 10
Never have sex with any animal in the room. That's just mean..for the animal.
BlackPhenom 9
This is why I love this website. That was hilarious
akiahara 14
Me-yeouch.