Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML
Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML
Today, I was getting one of the best blow jobs I have ever received. My girlfriend was getting into it when I heard an "uh oh". Her tongue ring got twisted around the hair close to my balls. She started to pull, I started to scream. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML
Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend oral sex when he pulled away without warning. As I looked up at him to see what was wrong, he screamed "JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE!" and shot his load in my eyes. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML
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Top comments
felidsentry 17
He'll never look at a pussy the same way again.
hunny797 5
Was that a threesome??
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Comments (109)
Soph0725 8
I hate cats...
Corrupt_waffles 13
I'm pretty sure they hate you too.
upallnight11 19
How can you hate cats! I'm shocked...
Blackcatluck 19
You shall be the first to be executed when we dominate this world.
Always_Me7 6
True true
SirCharles83 13
29- that's what Lloyd looked like when he was a baby.
BlowinChronic 18
Cat lovers.
TheWorldGreatest 8
Cats can be very nasty animal !
anythingmustbe 18
Your grammar can also be very nasty.
BlowinChronic 18
It was obviously just a typo. Nothing to do with bad grammar.
life_sucks225 13
i hate cats for that specific reason
Kidkaplan 19
"Praise the lord" he didnt
Neonemerld 21
OP never said the guy didn't get clawed.
hunny797 5
Was that a threesome??
guitarbeast 22
I Can Haz Threesome?
PenguinBitch 44
61- Spin for me. Hmm ok... ok.... Yez, yous can haz threesome.
AustinCarlile01 12
wow that really blows! *ba dum tssss*
jdimaria3 13
Well, he did get two *******, so...
felidsentry 17
He'll never look at a pussy the same way again.
sens3sfailing 25
thinking of you saying that while making the face you have in your profile pic made that comment even better!
Evgeny2222 11
Oh, these cats... Always come to watch you when you're having sex.
jjessen 20
Ceiling cat watches you having sex
Blackcatluck 19
It's very entertaining seeing one of you in pain while the other is enjoying themselves. In this case no one was in pain therefor the cat needed to make more entertaining
iGottaFindBubbah 12
It's true, lol cats are creepers.
Ashekitty 6
This really is true, my cat would sit at the foot of the bed and watch my boyfriend and I. Every goddamn time!
Leprekhaun 14
They are studying human interactions in hopes of finding a weakness.
mrperspire 4
So true
pattayarick 8
When I'm getting a ******* and have a pussy in my face at the same time, it's called 69. Sounds like it's the bf that should have posted the FML.
chocolateisyum 12
Maybe the cat was jealous. You should try getting it a girlfriend so it doesn't have to fight over you.
TurtleSmile 14
Sounds like OP already knew that, judging by her username.
MsConfusedd 27
So his face... It was actually clawed off? Pics or it didn't happen
rattusrattus 19
It's a well-known fact that ******* prefer *********** to fellatio.