Today, I was bored at work looking at a sex offender list of my area. After a couple of pages, I saw my uncle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I learned that my boss is a pedophile. He knows that I know. This is because he saw me looking at him… on the sex offender registry. FML
Today, I walked in on my uncle watching porn. I realized that it was porn featuring my boyfriend, and he told me that the girl in it was "just a friend". FML
Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML
Today, I was doing a local search at SexSearch.com and I found my sister's profile. FML
Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML
Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML
Today, my uncle keeps spamming me on Facebook with friend suggestions. Most of them are people he met on porn sites. FML
Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML
Today, I found out my sister-in-law cheated on her husband. I also found out my uncle cheated on my aunt with my sister-in-law. FML
Today, I decided to check my email on our family computer. Since my dad's account was already logged on, I chose to use his instead of logging on my own. When opening up a new page and seeing his recently viewed sites, I learned that he loves to watch porn. I also learned he has a foot fetish. FML
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Top comments
EricJ 3
People can get on the list who didn't do anything wrong. Maybe he pulled down his pants to pee in a lake and got convicted of indecent exposure. Find out what happened.
n1rvanat1zed 0
Uncool.
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Comments (137)
n1rvanat1zed 0
Uncool.
rowyourboat 0
oh myyyy D:
DonkeyDelight 0
Your uncle is my friend.
spiderman0606 0
Uncool? More like Giggidy.
suppressed08 2
^ made me laugh :) I'd be pretty gutted personally, iu can't know if he's been checking you out for years
Apache_fml 0
dat sucks
chocobunnyyumyum 0
#34 lol. weeeird...
Z1LVER 0
I'm pretty sure your uncle is thinking the same thing"WTF is he doing here?"
Str3amingcolors 0
It's not rape if you like it.
suppressed08 2
not rape if you shout surprise sex..
ImaginaryFoe 1
Did it bring back any memories you might have supressed?
joce445 0
that's... scary
Pearljammer001 0
now you know what your parents were talking about when they told you " oh, we'll tell you when your older"!
NRA_advocate 5
your a stupid sick ****
vollyball921 0
VERY uncool tht sux! n it's creepy......
iLoveTeraaa 0
ha
liveloveandownit 0
Well if the uncle is on there for molestation of a child then just show him the BME pain olympics video and tell him if he touches anyone in your family that you will do that to him.
ryguy997 0
now that is disturbing. I hope he never helped you shower/change your diaper.
helloimbob 0
well i think that is the last time you ever talk to him..
jamila123 5
Ugh.
ladiesman14 0
you could be on that list next. perversion runs in families. its genetic. dont allow any kids to play at your house or near your relatives.
EricJ 3
People can get on the list who didn't do anything wrong. Maybe he pulled down his pants to pee in a lake and got convicted of indecent exposure. Find out what happened.
ScaryyMary 14
Hey, you can get caught doing that TWICE before you're on the list. Third time's the charm ;D
IAMLALA 0
sex offenders :| no, they get put up their for doing something to a minor.
Intoxicunt 6
Um no. It's basically any sex-related crime. http://desexoffender.dsp.delaware.gov/SexOffenderPublic/# (Accept and click "FAQ") It's a state site, but it doesn't vary THAT greatly between states. It has nothing to do with age.
suppressed08 2
Peter Kay - every family has an uncle nobhead I'm pretty sure the uncle nobhead and the peado uncle could be the same uncle :)
liveloveandownit 0
There are plenty of new sex offenders thanx to facebook because 16 year olds post naked pictures of their 16 year old exes on facebook and tell the police to **** themselves when told to take it down and voila they are now sex offenders for the rest of their lives.
junker311 0
actually that's not true. you can get one there for peeing in public, getting caught having sex in your car etc. that's a misconception that you only get on there for doing stuff to minors.
doglover100 29
Reminds me of the movie Horrible Bosses where one of the main characters was on the list for peeing in a playground bush at night. There were no kids around.
WreckerGirl 4
That's disgusting. FYL, OP.
killabee 0
I had my navel pierced and was showing some girls at school, they asked me where I had gotten it done. When I told them they all gasped and quickly googled the sex offenders list...showing me the very polite man who had just pierced me was a pedo-rapist. YAY. : This however is much worse, your uncle? *shudders*
idkweird 0
Do you mean niece?
killabee 0
No... I mean her uncle. ??
littlexlion 4
Mmm, you should be fine, but watch your back at the family reunion >>;
TheBreaKer_fml 0
well its her uncle, its not like he's gonna try it on a family member
Zills 0
Most sex offenders start on family members. They find it's easier to get away with.
NGM_47 0
Well, now that mystery of why your uncle used to "poke" you when you sat on his lap is finally resolved.
GeorgeBoosh 0
"Uncle, you're always SO pleased to see me"
nolimits 0
Is this the uncle who used to make you fish quarters out of his pocket? FYL.
afatmonkey 0
This happened to me, but it was my neighbors. Now I always carry arround a string of garlic and a pair of razor sharp scissors.
MQ_was_here 0
WTF?^^ =/ OP, having a sex offender within the family is just unfortunate. I remember looking up that list once and I found 5 people that I knew or had met before, yes 5. Two were neighbors, one worked at the local deli, one was the local gym's janitor and one person was our landlord. Yes, landlord. And then all that weird staring started to make sense. If you guys have kids or younger siblings or even for yourself reading your local sex offender's list is insanely helpful. Just to be on the safe side.
htownlove 0
hmmm.. well all I can say for u is watch out