Today, a guy asked me for my number. Now I deeply regret giving it to him, because he won't stop sending me Bible quotes and pictures of Jesus. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I flirted and swapped numbers with an attractive married man. Later, when I texted him, he sent me a picture of Jesus and blocked me. FML
Today, I asked a cute guy for his number but instead he gave it to my gay friend. When my friend later called him, it turned out that he'd given him his number just to get rid of me and wasn't expecting him to call. FML
Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML
Today, a cute guy asked for my phone number and I gladly gave it to him. I was feeling really good about myself for getting hit on by the star football player. That was until he called 8 times and left 5 messages. In 2 hours. FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask a cute guy for his number. Once he had given me his, he asked for mine. My initial happiness was deflated when he said, "OK, now I can just block every message from you," and walked away. FML
Today, I offered my phone number to the guy I've been flirting back and forth with all week. He said no. FML
Today, I was talking to a nice guy on a dating app and we exchanged numbers. Later, I got a call. It was his wife asking me to stop talking to her husband. FML
Today, a cute guy came up to me and asked for my phone number. I was super excited and began to write it down when he said, "It doesn't have to be your real number, I'm not gonna call anyway." I still gave him my real number. FML
Today, a guy who likes me a little too much, and who I asked to tone his advances down a little, sent me a message on Twitter, Facebook and by text message to apologize. FML
Today, I had a very good-looking guy ask for my number while I was at work, but due to our policies I had to turn him down. FML
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Top comments
r_bruce69 19
pray for it to stop
Zelphoric 25
"No! No! God please no! no! no! noooooooooo!" -Michael scott
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Comments (172)
Zelphoric 25
"No! No! God please no! no! no! noooooooooo!" -Michael scott
MrConcise 35
One of the greatest sitcom scenes of all time from a rather unmemorable and mediocre sitcom.
Zelphoric 25
yeah its been a while since I've watched that scene so I messed up the quote a bit. Oh well, close enough to have people know what I'm quoting :P
Thatepicperson 14
WHAT ARE YA DOIN IN MAH SWAMP!!!!! - Shrek
kmaheynoway 25
More like "No! NO! please no more God pics! No! No! Noooooooo!" -OP
TheBelt 19
Jesus freaks, gotta love em
KayDee29 31
How dare you bring up awful memories of Toby coming back from Costa Rica. I'm appalled at you sir. Nobody reminds me of Toby and gets away with it too!
r_bruce69 19
pray for it to stop
CODplayer4lyfe 24
And God said: "let there be *****" And so there were *****, and they were good.
Thatepicperson 14
This comment made me cut
santosb1 11
Thou shall face the wrath of thee! I'm sorry OP :(
Meettitan 14
You do realize that thou and thee are both archaic forms of you, correct? That would mean your sentence reads: "You shall face the wrath of you!"
santosb1 11
Really!?!? damn all those times i've used it like that. *facepalm* I was taught wrong!
Meettitan 14
Thou shalt not use archaic English.
roxzanne22 20
Try kindly letting him know that you don't appreciate his messages and ask him stop. : )
shemademedoit 20
i strongly agree with you #4
rayman173 2
I don't know why this got downvoted sounds logical to me.
aleyp63 13
because it's a useless comment maybe?
happypenguins 24
What's his number because I need Jesus ??
elsie23 11
If you Jesus go to church
Smooth_Criminal 24
you don't need church to find jesus.
zBLAKEz 23
Yeah. You have to go outside a Home Depot. Or is that the wrong Jesus?
Crazyjohnb 23
You can find my Mexican freind Jésus to cut your grass
katydid91 31
Don't need his number. Just visit the record store in Quahog, Rhode Island.
ZombieVampirez 24
#54 home Depot is the place to go for everything
BigJoeZD 16
(pssst) Hey guys y'know I don't think it shows that we're now being sponsered by Home Depot
happypenguins 24
You missed my joke
koulz 12
Block his number
Liamj774 36
Do the same thing except with fifty shades of gray
xapocxbiggunx 4
Oh god (o_0)
Noted 11
That's what he said.
vphan6299 8
Please please do this
Oat_Oat 4
No. For this Jesus freak, do Fifty Shades of Gay.
disturbedchyk 11
send him a picture of a Satan and tell him you worship the devil maybe you'll scare him off...sucks to be you OP but maybe now you'll learn not to just give your number out to anyone
fiveforfighting 26
#11 that would be very counterintuitive in most cases. It could be more of a motivation for him to keep sending her that stuff.
TheOnlyGod 5
Sounds like he thinks you need a little Jesus in you! Maybe that's the name of his package!
StickyPickles 33
Perhaps he just wants to save your soul. . . Can't hate on a guy for that
Echoa21 18
Yeah you can
JustinJK 21
I don't want to be "saved". This shit is annoying.
starile 20
Maybe God is trying to get OP's attention in the form of a hot guy, because that's who she'll give numbers to. HMMMMM
chosha_fml 27
#14 Actually it's pretty easy to hate on someone who is both arrogant and annoying, and 'you need Jesus' types are both.