Today, a guy asked me for my number. Now I deeply regret giving it to him, because he won't stop sending me Bible quotes and pictures of Jesus. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I flirted and swapped numbers with an attractive married man. Later, when I texted him, he sent me a picture of Jesus and blocked me. FML
Today, I asked a cute guy for his number but instead he gave it to my gay friend. When my friend later called him, it turned out that he'd given him his number just to get rid of me and wasn't expecting him to call. FML
Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML
Today, a cute guy asked for my phone number and I gladly gave it to him. I was feeling really good about myself for getting hit on by the star football player. That was until he called 8 times and left 5 messages. In 2 hours. FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask a cute guy for his number. Once he had given me his, he asked for mine. My initial happiness was deflated when he said, "OK, now I can just block every message from you," and walked away. FML
Today, I offered my phone number to the guy I've been flirting back and forth with all week. He said no. FML
Today, I was talking to a nice guy on a dating app and we exchanged numbers. Later, I got a call. It was his wife asking me to stop talking to her husband. FML
Today, a cute guy came up to me and asked for my phone number. I was super excited and began to write it down when he said, "It doesn't have to be your real number, I'm not gonna call anyway." I still gave him my real number. FML
Today, a guy who likes me a little too much, and who I asked to tone his advances down a little, sent me a message on Twitter, Facebook and by text message to apologize. FML
Today, I had a very good-looking guy ask for my number while I was at work, but due to our policies I had to turn him down. FML
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Top comments
r_bruce69 19
pray for it to stop
Zelphoric 25
"No! No! God please no! no! no! noooooooooo!" -Michael scott
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Comments (172)
JKPwnage 27
Send him pasta recipes and pictures of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
JKPwnage 27
I assume he was sending you pictures of white, blue-eyed Jesus. Send him pictures of what he probably looked like as a middle-eastern Jew, because that's what he was.
Thatepicperson 14
Ya'll need Shrek
guitarki 11
"And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals."
thewife5 19
Just block his number.
praesidiem 16
Titus Andronicus would be a great Shakespeare play to quote. To horrify and annoying, simply choose; A. The use of humans as sacrificial rituals, B. The raping of a woman, C. The cutting off her hands and tongue, or D. Killing the rapists, and then feeding them to their own mother. Fight fire with fire I suppose. Good luck OP!
misspandamonium 27
You can always send him Cat Facts. Google it, it's hilarious. That, or send him entire scripts of terrible movies.
SirMichael 13
Send him lines from the Quran.
socialproduct 19
Or start sending him pictures of Satan.
Badkarma4u 17
This is exactly what goatse was made for.