Today, a guy asked me for my number. Now I deeply regret giving it to him, because he won't stop sending me Bible quotes and pictures of Jesus. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I flirted and swapped numbers with an attractive married man. Later, when I texted him, he sent me a picture of Jesus and blocked me. FML
Today, I asked a cute guy for his number but instead he gave it to my gay friend. When my friend later called him, it turned out that he'd given him his number just to get rid of me and wasn't expecting him to call. FML
Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML
Today, a cute guy asked for my phone number and I gladly gave it to him. I was feeling really good about myself for getting hit on by the star football player. That was until he called 8 times and left 5 messages. In 2 hours. FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask a cute guy for his number. Once he had given me his, he asked for mine. My initial happiness was deflated when he said, "OK, now I can just block every message from you," and walked away. FML
Today, I offered my phone number to the guy I've been flirting back and forth with all week. He said no. FML
Today, I was talking to a nice guy on a dating app and we exchanged numbers. Later, I got a call. It was his wife asking me to stop talking to her husband. FML
Today, a cute guy came up to me and asked for my phone number. I was super excited and began to write it down when he said, "It doesn't have to be your real number, I'm not gonna call anyway." I still gave him my real number. FML
Today, a guy who likes me a little too much, and who I asked to tone his advances down a little, sent me a message on Twitter, Facebook and by text message to apologize. FML
Today, I had a very good-looking guy ask for my number while I was at work, but due to our policies I had to turn him down. FML
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Top comments
r_bruce69 19
pray for it to stop
Zelphoric 25
"No! No! God please no! no! no! noooooooooo!" -Michael scott
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Comments (172)
abNormal62 23
Oh God...... They keep coming
russfml 31
Take advantage of the situation. Tell him your the risen messiah and you have Gods word with a message to spread. The message is shut the *#%* up :)
LadyNightowl 17
You could even use quotes from the recordings of Charlie Manson making the same proclamations.
Ryan777777777 15
Maybe it's a sign you need more Jesus in your life
FrostyNipz19 12
the Lord giveth
OrganicSistah 17
Jesus pics? Sounds Catholic. Tell him Jesus pics are unbiblical. (They really are.) Let me talk to him, I have a talent for shutting up Catholics lol. Catholics are unbiblical!!
KawaiiiPotato 0
Just block him or mute his texts
saffy66 34
I don't suppose his 'pictures of Jesus' show him as blond and blue eyed? Remind him Jesus was an Israeli Jew, and that's it's sacrilegious to depict him any other way. And then, if your phone allows it, just block him.
Overlord247 20
I'm an atheist but I have a lot of religious friends (the kind that post jesus pictures EVERYWHERE) and I have never seen him deppicted as blond and blue eyed :/
diagnosed 15
For this reason I use the rejection hotline as a number that I give out to guys and I'm not really sure about . I do have my own personal number but I don't give that out to just anybody. You should look up rejection hotline numbers for your area. They're really funny and very useful in this case
alkoy 4
I agree with #117. at least be honest, I mean saying "nah, sorry, not interested" when someone asks for your number isn't really hard, is it?
limabeans101029 21
Sometimes a fake number is necessary because some people just won't leave you alone until they get a number. Having said that, I wouldn't give a fake number if it was the first time they'd asked.
Vestin 18
#139 - Here's the deal though - what do you do AFTER someone gives you a number? I'm properly paranoid, so I first read it back to them, then call the number to both give them my own and make ABSOLUTELY sure I've typed it in correctly. Much awkwardness would ensue if I was given the wrong number on purpose.
Drosophila82 18
Yeah a friend did that to me. Point blank I told him to **** off.
Niedermayer_20 12
Probably great in bed. You never know.