Today, my mom told me that she heard me and my best friend in my room grunting and talking about how hard we were. She said she loved me and accepted me no matter what. Thanks mom, but we were working out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom called me into the living room to say that she had something important to tell me. She then explained how she and my dad had "talked things over" and wanted me to know that they accept me and love me no matter what. Apparently my mom thinks I'm lesbian. I'm not. FML
Today, my Mom found out that I've been intimate with one of my best friends in the past. We used protection, it never went anywhere, and we ended it amicably, but she still gave me a huge lecture. Later, she high-fived and congratulated him. FML
Today, I went to my parents' house. I recently lost about 30 lbs. My mom hugged me and said, "Aww, you're not my chubby baby girl anymore." She then said she wished I were still fat because she missed it. She's the reason I lost the weight; she used to tease and taunt me. Thanks Mom. FML
Today, I came home crying and informed my mother that someone had called me a 'fat bitch' today. She held me at arms length, looked me straight in the eyes, and lovingly said, "You can't change who you are." FML
Today, I told my mom I loved her a lot. Her reply? "Thanks." FML
Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my mom that I'm gay. She sympathetically patted my back and told me I don't need to make up excuses for me being so unattractive to women. FML
Today, after running a couple of miles, I went upstairs into my air-conditioned room to cool off. Apparently, my mom walked past my room and heard me breathing heavily. Later, she had my dad give me a talk about masturbation. FML
Today, I told my mom I loved her and she asked if I was going to kill myself. FML
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
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Top comments
taterrtots 25
at least she didn't give you a hard time about it. wink
mattzawesome 28
I don't think I can even comprehend how embarrassing that would be! Hopefully she believes you...
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Comments (87)
mattzawesome 28
I don't think I can even comprehend how embarrassing that would be! Hopefully she believes you...
604 11
Likely story...
onlychildFTW 34
Oh I'm sure they were working out some equipment.
Likian5 26
Yes, because us guys ALWAYS talk about how hard we are while working out *wink*
rajput 17
They were working out their wrists.
olpally 33
Lol. Oh the rush to judgment is strong here. Just explain yourself and you'll be good.
semitoundboss 4
Two people grunting in a bedroom? I think there is only one thing that can be assumed.
Pstraka6 20
All in all that situation is pretty funny, but go explain to her what you were actually doing so she knows. That's pretty awesome though your mom is that accepting! Think about that for a minute too
Isandri 29
Yeah, I am jealous for such parent. My mom only told me that she hopes, that my friend is only my friend idd, and nothing more. My girlfriend wasn't happy about it :(
xAmybbx 22
Agreed. #17 My mum still insists my boyfriend is only a 'friend', even in front of him. Well, just persevere :)
taterrtots 25
at least she didn't give you a hard time about it. wink
mattzawesome 28
Weakkk
JohnnyKade 25
Guess you were in a tight spot.
False_Stupidity 42
That'll be a hard one to explain your way out of. A way that your mum will believe anyhow...
razora 4
Just say I was watching **** that's easier to explain
pjsr 33
WE were watching **** - probably doesn't do much to counter her thinking
BlackPanther19 11
well sex does burn calories
whysobeachy 37
Exactly. OP never did mention what kind of "work out" it was.
StiffPvtParts 43
I guess that might explain my extra weight ._.
cOOkiEzRgOOd 22
You call your's a fiend?
StraightUpBaller 14
My best one, in fact.
markpatrick 10
lol
mustangbravo 27
I guess I can see her assumption. Your mom is pretty cool to say that. I agree with earlier posts. Just explain and all should be well. It will be a funny story for the future.