Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML
Today, while at my friend's house, she had to leave the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I had "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. Then he left. I'm a gay guy. FML
Today, after weeks of summoning up the courage to come out of the closet to my best friend, I told her I was gay. Immediately after she started cracking up, thinking it was a joke. I was so confused and nervous, I went along with it. She still thinks I'm straight. FML
Today, I told my best friend that I was gay and that I liked him. Turns out he's very open about the topic. Basically, he kissed me and then slapped me. I don't know what that's supposed to mean. FML
Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML
Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I loved him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML
Today, I was at a friend's house; she left the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I'd, "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. I'm a gay guy, and she knows. FML
Today, I came out to my mom. I had an epic speech planned, and when I tried to tell her, it all fell apart and I started crying and just said, "I'm gay." After a few seconds silence, my mom sighs and says, "Duh." FML
Today, I found out that my son has been telling me he's gay so we would allow the "female friend" who is actually his girlfriend to stay over. FML
Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML
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Top comments
drewTheMan 8
I guess it's pretty clear your dad never studied with anyone
karacakal2 30
That's a whole new level of dad joke
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Comments (127)
trey600rr 22
quit Lying to yourself and put it in your mouth!
snuffyTHEbear 23
Gotta admit he's funny.
vikky538 29
Did you ever ask how he got the gaydar
lmfao789 11
Being a gay is a natural thing, there is nothing wrong with that... We are all humans who have the right to make our choice, I always studied with guys and whenever I did with girls my mind wandered. I think there is a greater level of comfort & understanding between two or more guys studying together.
lmfao789 11
Being a gay is a natural thing, there is nothing wrong with that... We are all humans who have the right to make our choice, I always studied with guys and whenever I did with girls my mind wandered. I think there is a greater level of comfort & understanding between two or more guys studying together.
ColdRoxas 18
Funny how this is on father's day you should give him a free pass on this lol
ur_grace 9
1) that's probably why he said it and 2) you sound like this has come up with others
Theater_Chef_3 30
This sounds like a guy I used to date and his best friends kinda story ?
Pyneapple 19
Haha you seem to have a really fun dad
advantaged 1
Being gay is not an insult and should never be used as one
VoodooPriestess 16
I don't necessarily think the guy took it or meant it like an insult (Maybe he did though). It is just annoying to be shipped with someone else. I was messing with a guy friend and another [friend] decided to say I was into him. It made my friend feel awkward because he had had issues with friends getting crushes on him and confessing and having to turn them down and other complications. I think a gay person would be equally annoyed at being shipped with a straight person.