Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when a girl came out of nowhere, screaming at me for cheating on her, and saying she was dumping me. I've never seen her before, and she was almost grinning during her little act, but my girlfriend believed it, and I'm now single. FML
Today, my girlfriend slapped me and dumped me because she thought I was gay, simply because I had to miss a date because one of my guy friends was in a car accident, and I went to see him at the hospital. FML
Today, my supposed "best friend" started going out with the girl I'd just split up with, immediately after she said she wanted to see other people. FML
Today, I told my best friend she looked great in the dress she was wearing. My boyfriend overheard and is now convinced I'm a lesbian. FML
Today, after weeks of summoning up the courage to come out of the closet to my best friend, I told her I was gay. Immediately after she started cracking up, thinking it was a joke. I was so confused and nervous, I went along with it. She still thinks I'm straight. FML
Today, I had a friend "dump" me over Facebook. She apparently thought we were dating. I'm a gay man who's lived with his partner for 5 years. She says I have commitment issues. FML
Today, I introduced the girl I was talking to my best friend, and we all hung out. Until this day, her and I were doing great. After my friend left, she started gushing about how hot he is. He wasn't hitting on her at all. I reminded her that, and that he has a girlfriend. She was calm, but visibly upset. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying I was immature for making gay jokes all the time. A few hours later, I got six texts and three calls from guys I didn't know. It turns out, she put my name and number on Craigslist as a gay man seeking a relationship. FML
Today, I was walking around town with the girl I have loved for four years and have been 100% faithful to. A girl thought it would be funny to approach me and pretend she was the girl I was seeing, and that I was cheating on her. My girlfriend believed her and broke up with me. FML
Today, I found out that my friends were convinced that I was gay. I have known most of them for 3 plus years, they all thought my girlfriend was a special shopping partner. I found this out while announcing my engagement. FML
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Top comments
XandraHart 15
I think that's a win if she can't take a joke
cOOkiEzRgOOd 22
She should learn to take a joke, it's friends like those you want to keep and girlfriends like her who you're better without!
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Comments (57)
XandraHart 15
I think that's a win if she can't take a joke
THE_GLOW_CLOUD 9
Honestly, she has serious paranoia issues and is also blatantly homophobic. Go find someone else OP.
DamnBailie 23
Seems like she has slightly small trust issues. Did she know he was your best friend? or just some stranger? Either way, sorry OP
cOOkiEzRgOOd 22
She should learn to take a joke, it's friends like those you want to keep and girlfriends like her who you're better without!
jesterinperil 28
If she can't accept that you have close friends or joke around, I think you dodged a bullet.
phoenixpixie 13
Insecure much?
MdMan2 23
Sounds like something my friend and I would do. I can't believe your girlfriend couldn't tell you were joking.
ImmortalSyn 17
If she reacts that badly to a joke then you're getting lucky by not having to deal with her anymore.
Model_Type_Chick 6
Wow... insecure much. Something wrong with her.
shanehorne 8
I do the same with my best mate only I have a super jealous girlfriend and I decided to see how jealous so I tried and successfully made her jealous of my best mate by all the gay stuff me and him would talk about
jeff_boles 12
That's a dick move.