Today, we were building the homecoming float, the theme is Seasons of Love. We went around the yard and put random leaves on the float. My friend's dad looked at the float and said, "You do realize that's poison ivy?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I woke up with a rash all across my body. Last night, my boyfriend and I got it on in some bushes, and it seems one of those was poison ivy. FML
Today, my idiot neighbor decided the best way to dispose of the poison ivy in his yard was to pile it all up and burn it. I'm severely allergic. It was so bad that one of my eyes is still swollen half shut. FML
Mixed signals
Today, my boyfriend surprised me with a bouquet of flowers he'd picked himself. This would’ve been romantic, had they not all been Poison Hemlock. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when someone pushed me into poison ivy. He ran off saying, "That's for beating me in the race." I've never been in a race, nor have I ever met him. FML
Today, my younger brother sat on some poison ivy. He didn't have any symptoms because he's pretty much immune to it. Also today, my boyfriend had to run to the ER because he got poison ivy on his genitalia. I knew they spent way too much time together. FML
Ouch!
Today, I took a piss while doing yard work. Later, to my horror, I discovered that I had touched poison oak at some point. My penis is now blistered and swollen. FML
What do I get?
Today, I helped my parents out by tearing down the old, rusty swing set that's been in our backyard for years. Little did I know that there was a beehive hidden in the long grass, and I now have dozens of painful red bumps all over me. FML
Today, it's "family fun night." We're pulling weeds. FML
Today, my dad asked if I'd help him clean the gutters. I was given the responsibility of holding the ladder while he went on the roof. All I heard was laughter before a year's worth of rotting vegetation landed on top of my head. FML
Today, a few friends and I ran through sprinklers at our school until we were all soaked. Then we were told that they put fertilizer in the water. I'm soaked in manure. Now I know why it tasted weird. FML
Top comments
lutafin 0
dumbass lol
stacers 0
My brother did something similar, except he accidentally gave the cast of his Adam and Eve church camp skitters poison ivy leaves...oops!
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Comments (73)
ellephaba101 0
first :)
lutafin 0
dumbass lol
H8rSk8r 0
Well, you got a rash. Boo-hoo. FMLs just arn't what they used to be.
BisFitty 7
YDI for making foolish RASH decisions
nerdsgetmehot 23
#17 Poison ivy rashes can actually be pretty intense-- and they can easily spread if you dare to itch them. And as moderators have pointed out on various FMLs, FMLs aren't really supposed to be life-ruining moments. They're just supposed to be genuinely funny "Oh man, that sucks" moments.
Shookitup 0
I think roses would have been nicer :)
JangHyun 0
Enough said!
sparkz2010 0
poison ivy is quite appreate the bitter & painful side of love
EffinAhole 0
Thank you #17! So sick of people bitching that "this isn't a FML" all the time. If everyone posted stuff that actually F'ed their lives how depressing would this site be! It's for entertainment jackholes!
MrsxBillxKaulitz 5
I don't get poison ivy. :)
Mischief109 11
40- I think you mean 21?
Mischief109 11
Whoops nevermind! *goes in the fetal position on the floor*
KJLD5 0
1 ...and ouch tht sucks...fyl
KJLD5 0
oops fail on my part.lol
emmmmmma_fml 0
pfffft number one as if. hahaha random leaves.... did it even look any good..?
stacers 0
My brother did something similar, except he accidentally gave the cast of his Adam and Eve church camp skitters poison ivy leaves...oops!
Skankles 0
You silly goose.
ohSNAPyall 27
Leaves of three, leave them be. Leaves of four, eat some more!
RedPillSucks 33
Leaves of five, smoke that jive...
kingsley23 0
so u can eat a four leaf clover but not a three leaf clover?
Kla017 0
Haha nice
ImTheAlpha 30
RedPillSucks- You, sir, are awesome.
ohSNAPyall 27
He was just mad that you destroyed his garden / poison moat.
emotive_fml 0
Haha.. This is something my family would do. Kudos for saying this.
theretardedsquar 0
ahhahah snap, crackle pop.
FFML_314 12
Itching cream, aisle 4!
KJLD5 0
lmfao
Phustercluck 11
No, they switched the store around...AGAIN. Its on aisle 7 now.
InDenial 6
In Australia it's in isle 9. 0.0
lalagirl912 0
in florida it's....2?... maybe lol I'm not at the store alot so I wouldn't know : and never needed itching cream :o
world_time_1212 0
I like Florida.