Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML
Today, while at my friend's house, she had to leave the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I had "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. Then he left. I'm a gay guy. FML
Today, after weeks of summoning up the courage to come out of the closet to my best friend, I told her I was gay. Immediately after she started cracking up, thinking it was a joke. I was so confused and nervous, I went along with it. She still thinks I'm straight. FML
Today, I told my best friend that I was gay and that I liked him. Turns out he's very open about the topic. Basically, he kissed me and then slapped me. I don't know what that's supposed to mean. FML
Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML
Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I loved him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML
Today, I was at a friend's house; she left the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I'd, "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. I'm a gay guy, and she knows. FML
Today, I came out to my mom. I had an epic speech planned, and when I tried to tell her, it all fell apart and I started crying and just said, "I'm gay." After a few seconds silence, my mom sighs and says, "Duh." FML
Today, I found out that my son has been telling me he's gay so we would allow the "female friend" who is actually his girlfriend to stay over. FML
Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML
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Top comments
drewTheMan 8
I guess it's pretty clear your dad never studied with anyone
karacakal2 30
That's a whole new level of dad joke
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Comments (127)
hantu69 22
Maybe you should brings girls often to your house ? but your dad a are funny , haha
bobsanction 18
Clearly you're the best of friends with this person, as a solid best friend should make your parents question your sexuality.
devinaww 15
your dad sounds like a funny guy
tomvertigo 17
No worries, OP. My best friends parents thought the same of us. We've known one another since 3rd grade and spent a lot of time together. Sometimes best friends are best friends. I'm 30 now and we still hang out whenever we can, my nephews and his niece all call both of us uncle.
ThunderFOB 7
Maybe he misheard you and thought you said "going steady." It'd explain a lot, that or he's just bad at jokes.
Mafia2141 9
Haha awesome dad! Don't take it wrong though!
Ava_Darkflame 26
I'm sorry, but this is hilarious.
dannnngthatsux 19
Yes it sucks to be you, but I gotta say, your old man is funny as hell!
Madqness 3
That's Dads being Dads. Gotta live with that.
watermelon4 24
Uni!lock John Watson, is that you? Did you move to New Jersey to study there?