Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML
Today, while at my friend's house, she had to leave the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I had "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. Then he left. I'm a gay guy. FML
Today, after weeks of summoning up the courage to come out of the closet to my best friend, I told her I was gay. Immediately after she started cracking up, thinking it was a joke. I was so confused and nervous, I went along with it. She still thinks I'm straight. FML
Today, I told my best friend that I was gay and that I liked him. Turns out he's very open about the topic. Basically, he kissed me and then slapped me. I don't know what that's supposed to mean. FML
Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML
Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I loved him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML
Today, I was at a friend's house; she left the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I'd, "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. I'm a gay guy, and she knows. FML
Today, I came out to my mom. I had an epic speech planned, and when I tried to tell her, it all fell apart and I started crying and just said, "I'm gay." After a few seconds silence, my mom sighs and says, "Duh." FML
Today, I found out that my son has been telling me he's gay so we would allow the "female friend" who is actually his girlfriend to stay over. FML
Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML
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Top comments
drewTheMan 8
I guess it's pretty clear your dad never studied with anyone
karacakal2 30
That's a whole new level of dad joke
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Comments (127)
Abhimanyu 14
Gaydar xD that cracked me up xD
HardOrphanMaker 10
kiss your friend on the mouth thats what I do when my dad calls me gay.
nitrog100 21
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Miss_Batgirl17 12
I'm pretty sure he was just teasing you, OP. Don't worry about it, parents love to tease their children lol.
Grauncho 27
Sure you aren't ;3333
bulletsinthewind 21
He's hopefully just doing it to annoy you.
live2loveurself 11
So what if you're not gay? You're making it seem like it's annoying or negative to be mistaken for a gay person, when it's just as normal as being straight is.
limabeans101029 21
I see your point but, to be fair, as a bisexual person it's annoying when everyone assumes I'm straight. It'd be like me constantly telling someone I'm bisexual and having them keep assuming I'm straight. That'd be very annoying so I can see where OP is coming from.
Cebolamole 13
He's just jealous that you have a brofriend.
ally8 21
He obviously never studied with anyone and now has time to lounge around making gay jokes in his ample spare time. Loser
cheesebond 29
This made me giggle