Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML
Today, I found out that the reason my best friend is not allowed over anymore is because he hits on my mom and writes her love letters. FML
Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask out my crush, only to find out that they're already in a committed relationship with my mom. FML
Today, I found out my dad is dating my dead mom's best friend. FML
Today, I finally told my crush that I like her. She said she could never date me, because apparently, "My best friend likes you." Her best friend is my step-sister. FML
Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I was in love with his best friend. He confessed that he was too. FML
Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML
Today, a guy who I was low-key crushing on asked me out. I excitedly told my best friend, as I do when I have big news. She informed me that the same guy asked her out 15 minutes ago. He'd originally been into her and only came to me because she rejected him. FML
Today, my crush finally asked me to homecoming. I told my best friend, thinking she would be happy for me. Now we are in a big argument and she won't talk to me because I have a date and she doesn't. FML
Today, my roommate told me he was bringing home his new girlfriend. When the arrived, he introduced me to… my longtime crush. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
Sorry, Stacy, but he did put it in a song.
John Nemeth 14
Stacy can’t you see your just not the girl for me... I know it might be wrong but I’m in love with Stacy’s Mom. I miss songs like these.... what the hell happened?!?
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Comments (16)
BurnInDemonFire 39
Sorry, Stacy, but he did put it in a song.
BeefyQueefy 14
The author never said they were a girl...people are gay, guys. Stop assuming
MallowMistress 13
Stop assuming Stacy is a girl.... The name is unisex.
real life problems 26
Maybe you should take that stick out of your ass and just go with the joke?
wysegirl 24
Why are you being judgemental? Stacy is both a male and female name now.. Either ways songs like that don't exist anymore
BurnInDemonFire 39
Three things, chief. 1) See that line under the comment box? The one with the user name, date/time stamp, etc.? Well there's also a little icon there that indicates that the OP is female, or identifies as female. 2) You're right. Guys can be gay. Guys can also be called Stacy, if their parents so choose it. C) If you don't get this reference, you are either too old, or too young, to be criticizing it. So either go take an afternoon nap, or a selfie, depending on which generation you are.
Zekfen 17
Can we get a picture of your mother for documentation purposes?
RichardPencil 32
It’s likely that eventually you’ll grow up to be a MILF. It’s in your jeans ;)
BeefyQueefy 14
Did the author ever say they were a girl??
RichardPencil 32
Yes, both the app and website have the female symbol for the OP.
John Nemeth 14
Stacy can’t you see your just not the girl for me... I know it might be wrong but I’m in love with Stacy’s Mom. I miss songs like these.... what the hell happened?!?
BurnInDemonFire 39
Ed ******* Sheeran happened!
Dave_Davington 34
Don't worry, I'm sure he'll let you call him dad.
RichardPencil 32
I think he’d prefer “Daddy” or “Papì.”
arandomperson97 19
Next thing you know he’ll have a green hierophant and join you on your quest to defeat a 100-something-year-old bisexual vampire in Egypt.
blightsight 10
I wish that I had Jesse's girl