Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I loved him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
Today, my dad texted me, "I love u." I replied, "I love you too dad... are you drunk?" He answers back, "Of course I am..." My dad only tells me he loves me when he's drunk. FML
Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML
Today, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up behind my dad and yell "BOO!" to scare him. He didn't even flinch. All he did was calmly look over his shoulder and sigh, "Oh for fuck's sake. And you wonder why I don't love you." FML
Today, I found my dad drunk, sitting on the bathroom floor crying. When I asked him why, he said, "My son is gay." I'm his only child, and I'm a girl. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML
Today, I let my step-father know exactly what I thought of him. After a few moments of awkward silence, he leaned towards me and quietly whispered, "Well you're adopted. Your parents never loved you." FML
Today, my father lectured me on the “sanctity of marriage” while his third wife bawled in the corner. I'm just gay, not a raging cunt. FML
Today, I jokingly mocked my dad about his age. He jokingly poured milk all over my head. FML
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Top comments
KingLewisII 34
No humor like dad humor
VonBlitzkrieg 27
If he thinks it's gay for a son to love his father, he either had a bad childhood or he's got some backwards-ass way of thinking.
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Comments (67)
That_Ginger 18
Freud.
gjikvtj 18
The best straight router bits on the market
KingLewisII 34
No humor like dad humor
MisterEx 28
#2 - No ****-r like dad ****-r
tigerborn69 18
pms much
silvercamaro 22
I don't think men tend to pms
KingLewisII 34
Actually they do it occurs in some middle aged men it's called "Irritable male syndrome"
hashshim 23
22: I highly doubt that occurs after a man goes through his period...
threer 30
PMS=Premenstrual Syndrome. How can men have premenstrual syndrome if they don't menstruate? IMS is a way different thing.
liketenpandas 6
yeah IMS is just a guy having a really bad day. don't try to put some stupid medical name to it. if there was a cause I.E. estrogen put into his diet then I digress... however most men dont have any issues like this. unless they just somehow grow ovaries. which would be strange indeed.
psycheiris13 20
He was probably embarrassed that you noticed he was feeling down, and reacted defensively to save his ego. Good for you for at least trying to make him feel better.
cakefete2 31
Good point. The make ego is such a fragile thing.
VonBlitzkrieg 27
If he thinks it's gay for a son to love his father, he either had a bad childhood or he's got some backwards-ass way of thinking.
sythe511 28
I think you mean "bass-ackwards".
shinigami99 10
His spirits weren't the only thing you lifted ;D
shinigami99 10
Why vote me down? Sheesh, I was just trying to raise some spirits!
KingLewisII 34
Do you even "lift" bro?
shinigami99 10
WOOOO!! DOWNVOTE CHAIN!! DOWNVOTE ME!! :D
shinigami99 10
So I have a question. I made a pun (Yes I know it was cheesy) , and it gets downvoted completely. But then some guy comments with "You an idiot or something, boy?" , the most bland and unoriginal insult I think I've ever heard on this site, yet it get's dozens of likes. Yeah, sounds like the FML community alright.
threer 30
Your little ";D" pissed me off. Positivity pisses me off. Positivity pisses the FML community off. Stop getting butthurt, his comment was funny, less stupid than your comment, and relative to the FML. Shoo, fly.
shinigami99 10
"relative to the FML" , His comment was in NO WAY relative to the fml.
jr_mtz01 7
its not funny, deal with it, move on, live! it aint a dik so dont take it so far up your arse
liketenpandas 6
it's definitely relative, he made a reference to the "you gay or something boy?" comment in the fml
kingdomgirl94 29
love you dad, no ****. some dads are really bad with affection. He probably said that because he's too embarrassed to say "I love you too", its an older person thing.
fucMyLifeSoHard 18
It must be. Whenever I tell my dad I love him, he just says "that's nice."
gingaa96 18
My dad likes chocolate to make him less pissy. Try that or other food he likes haha
91hayek 31
So those Snicker's ads are true?
Scynistr 20
Steak.. Bacon.. Steak wrapped in bacon..
showmeyourears 19
Mmmmm steacon....
liketenpandas 6
don't forget chicken, chicken is always good... pet the chicken...
thatkidmal 15
He needs a man cave
zandalee 20
A very deep mancave.
warsun 27
Then we shall journey to the Centre of the earth!!!!
avapaige1234 19
Men and "I love you" just don't mix, you know.
ihunter_rae 12
agreed haha