Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Right before I was about to climax, he asks, "Do you remember when you bought the homeless guy with one leg a hot dog?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, some homeless person came up to the window and started doing a voice-over. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML
Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML
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Top comments
phorcep 0
Well if you didn't, you certainly will now.
unfortunate_13 5
i once said "hey, you have to preheat the oven first" when my boyfriend wanted to skip foreplay while i needed some fun first.
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Comments (93)
birdfreak 24
well do u?
jayalexander 7
random... u shulda screamed at him to hury up... usually works for me...
moosemonkey1000 6
to tell your guy to hurry up?
RedPillSucks 33
Next time you're having sex and he's about to come, stick a ***** up his ass and tell him you found another hotdog for the homeless man.
iRadiium 0
xD
xSundae 6
To contrary belief, this isn't America. This is the interwebs. I'm not even American. I'm Canadian. So yeah.
rattusrattus 19
I'm English. The interwebs is not a country, and it certainly isn't America. Although being able to register as an Internet National would be awesome, with your Internet passport and Internet citezenship.
pimplayer 0
I think you need to find a new man OP, that just shows where his mind set was at, while having intercourse with you, unless he fantasizes about homeless people idk ! or maybe you ugly to look at, again idk !
areyouforcereal 7
lmao random....but funny.
fudgeeocookies 10
RANDOM
upsetman 0
actually you guys. a woman can "cum" or ****** up to 9 times so she could keep goining if she wanted to. looks like OP's boyfriend is at fault here. so yeah FYL.
HomeAl0ne 20
I'll see your 9 and raise you another 6.
prettypinkpixie 9
well it was very nice of you to buy him a hotdog :) most people are too selfish to help the homeless, so be happy your boyfriend noticed your good deed :D
Mistery510 6
he prally didn't know you were about to cum... your most likely boring in bed