Today, I was mugged by a street preacher. The same one who'd earlier in the day screamed at me for being an evil sinner. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a drunk man wearing a sandwich-board proclaiming that, "The end is nigh" threw some so-called holy water at me while bellowing, "It's what Jesus would've wanted" and that I should "repent for being an evil shite." FML
Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML
Today, I went out of my way to avoid street preachers thrusting hateful propaganda at me. A young woman ran up to me and started waving paper in my face, and I snapped at her to fuck off. Right afterwards I realised she was returning something that fell out of my pocket. She looked terrified. FML
Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML
Today, I was mugged by a guy in a Santa suit. FML
Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML
Today, I got mugged. I also got an extra kick in the face for not having money in my wallet. FML
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
Today, while walking down the street, I was violently beaten up by a man in a Darth Vader outfit. FML
Today, I got mugged. For an actual mug. FML
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Top comments
Soloman212 28
Maybe he wanted to take judgement into his own hands? Or maybe it was a facade so he could later catch you off guard. No one suspects the priests.
courtney680 17
Oh the irony..
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Comments (96)
Soloman212 28
Maybe he wanted to take judgement into his own hands? Or maybe it was a facade so he could later catch you off guard. No one suspects the priests.
lilhellian 27
Unless it involves kids...
KyraJFoxx 14
So much for "practice what you preach" , clearly this 'street preacher' didn't get the memo. sorry OP , you so don't "deserve this"
Freethaawave 19
So disappointed this was a Colorado post... Totally thought this was about that old preacher at Yonge & Dundas (in Toronto) who screams "BELIEVE!!!! BELIEVE IN THE LORD!!!" in peoples ears when they walk past.
TheJester12 15
Your identity must not be in this social security and credit card......but in the Good lord, son. Let me take them off your hands lest you burn in the fiery pits of hell.
whY402Jay 12
Priest?
AshaaFerreira 22
Lol I know who you are talking about!
courtney680 17
Oh the irony..
Damian95 16
Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.
courtney680 17
Uhhh what?
whos_ur_daddy1 19
Throw holy water on him
kianaaa32 17
John 8:7, you're welcome.
wjh100 13
I thought it was "only he without sin can cast the first priest"? or different verse?
lishajoy777 14
Darn you for being an evil sinner!
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Thou shalt not steal.......on Thursdays.
lhazz11 23
Sounds like he's got a severe case of bipolarity!
johnnyboy7 5
Call him a meeaan buthead!
flockz 20
Butt that wouldn't solve anything.
MrSassypants 34
"But" is a conjunction used to introduce something contrasting with what has already been mentioned. I suppose "buthead" may work.
SanaSazi 32
New Zealanders (of which i am proudly one) can and often do, end thier sentences with but. a) man! i really enjoyed that movie! b) yeah it was great wasnt it but. lol! totally true!
lovesings 12
Takes one to know one
rg350dx 29
Tell him to preach on the evils of hypocrisy for his next "sermon"
olpally 33
Hypocritical much? Lol. What a douche waffle. Go mug him back.
someteenager 13
I thoroughly enjoyed your use of waffle. In my opinion, he was being a barrel.
SanaSazi 32
what was in that youtube video... "YOU AINT GOT NO COOKIE DOUGH...YOU AINT GOT NO COOKIE DOUGH..." LOL
EpicSquishii 21
pancake mix....
StzaCrack666 18
guess he didnt pay attention to "thou shall not steal"
Kauphy 12
You'll come to learn that most of them don't practice what they're preaching.