Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was my birthday. My only birthday present was a cake that my dad bought from Walmart. Well, it sure looked tasty. The only problem: it had nuts on it. Guess what I'm highly allergic too? At least my dad told me he'd "tell me how it tastes." FML
Today, I forgot my boyfriend was allergic to nuts and ate Nutella toast before he arrived. He had just brought me flowers for doing well in an exam and I kissed him. He had a reaction and I had to stab him in the leg. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a box of chocolates as a present. A few hours later, he texted me saying that the box of chocolates contained nuts. He's allergic to nuts and his mother now thinks I'm trying to kill him. FML
Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML
Today, I grabbed a box of my favorite granola bars, the only flavor the brand makes without nuts, which I'm severely allergic to. A visit to the ER after my throat closed up told me that I'd missed the notice on the shelf, warning that they're now making them with peanuts. FML
Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML
Today, I had to go to the ER because of a terrible allergic reaction I had to the cookies my "friend" made for me. She assured me several times that there were no nuts in them. Turns out, she put nuts in them on purpose, to see whether or not I was really allergic. FML
Today, my boyfriend’s mom fed me a new dish containing peanuts, knowing full well I’m severely allergic. According to her, her ancestors “cured” allergies by exposing the person to the allergen. I went into anaphylactic shock. FML
Today, it was my 17th birthday. I didn't want my family to spend money on a cake, so my dad made this delicious apple ring. At least, it was great until my mouth began to itch and my throat closed. I have been allergic to nuts since birth, and my dad put walnuts in my birthday cake. FML
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Top comments
CallMeWindSock 24
Well, you know you do.
fml1365 30
He must be nuts!
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Comments (132)
katejones 8
Not sure what the big Nutella hype in the us/Canada is about either - unless the product was recently introduced there?? Anyway,fyl. And we have nut free Nutella here called chocolate paste. Tastes a bit different because if the no hazelnuts but if you really want to try some alternative that would be it.
mattrd_fml 31
I hope you don't like Nutella.
catanita 18
And the winner for the most supportive and understanding father is........ your dad.
Kirika119 3
I would die in less than 5 mins lolz
gigglesmg 6
My situation should make you feel better. I am allergic to Peanuts, Tree Nuts, Fish, Seeds, Wheat, Advil, Aspirin, and Ibuprofen from birth just be glad you are not me OP
ItUsedToBeGreat 1
First off, Dad is super funny. Second, my condolences on your allergy. Third, Dad is super funny.
r4m2k 10
Your dad is an asshole, but to be fair, he's right ;)
doihaveto 6
What a nice dad
blackvyper 8
Where were all these weird allergies 30 or 40 tears ago and why doesn't everyone have them?
natassjad 22
I would start giving it to the neighbors, eventually he would stop to save money :p