Allergies Health Not a sponsored post

Not a sponsored post

nutfreak - 12/08/2013 15:24 - United States - Lutherville Timonium

Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML

52 637

3 640

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

birthdayboy - 19/06/2019 16:22

Today, it was my birthday. My only birthday present was a cake that my dad bought from Walmart. Well, it sure looked tasty. The only problem: it had nuts on it. Guess what I'm highly allergic too? At least my dad told me he'd "tell me how it tastes." FML

1 932

152

rhunter17 - 06/04/2015 19:38

Today, I forgot my boyfriend was allergic to nuts and ate Nutella toast before he arrived. He had just brought me flowers for doing well in an exam and I kissed him. He had a reaction and I had to stab him in the leg. FML

33 860

10 603

Kelly - 27/12/2009 04:44 - United States

Today, I gave my boyfriend a box of chocolates as a present. A few hours later, he texted me saying that the box of chocolates contained nuts. He's allergic to nuts and his mother now thinks I'm trying to kill him. FML

26 649

11 834

Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML

47 994

3 992

Anonymous - 16/11/2013 21:40 - United States - Blain

Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML

50 402

3 122

Close shave

Anonymous - 28/08/2019 02:00 - United States - Bisbee

Today, I grabbed a box of my favorite granola bars, the only flavor the brand makes without nuts, which I'm severely allergic to. A visit to the ER after my throat closed up told me that I'd missed the notice on the shelf, warning that they're now making them with peanuts. FML

1 667

456

Anonymous - 14/10/2011 14:41 - United States

Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML

37 359

2 671

Criminal Minds

Anonymous - 18/09/2019 00:01 - United States

Today, I had to go to the ER because of a terrible allergic reaction I had to the cookies my "friend" made for me. She assured me several times that there were no nuts in them. Turns out, she put nuts in them on purpose, to see whether or not I was really allergic. FML

2 676

133

Call the cops!

epipen life - 10/03/2019 16:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend’s mom fed me a new dish containing peanuts, knowing full well I’m severely allergic. According to her, her ancestors “cured” allergies by exposing the person to the allergen. I went into anaphylactic shock. FML

3 641

243

UnluckyJulie - 02/11/2009 06:12 - United States

Today, it was my 17th birthday. I didn't want my family to spend money on a cake, so my dad made this delicious apple ring. At least, it was great until my mouth began to itch and my throat closed. I have been allergic to nuts since birth, and my dad put walnuts in my birthday cake. FML

41 395

2 703

CallMeWindSock 24

Monday 12 August 2013 19:01

Well, you know you do.

fml1365 30

Monday 12 August 2013 19:02

He must be nuts!

venom2421 10

Monday 12 August 2013 21:38

That is the cruelest thing I can imagine. Your dad is hilarious OP, but FYL definitely.

EvilLittleMan 23

Monday 12 August 2013 21:54

It appears Dear ol Dad has a soft spot for nuts, maybe his chin?

KingreX32 21

Monday 12 August 2013 21:56

you're. dad's a dick.

skyeyez9 24

Monday 12 August 2013 22:08

Your dad is a Dick! Unless he went into anaphylactic shock, he has no idea how horrifying it can be.

simsgirlgem 25

Monday 12 August 2013 22:20

your dad is a dick

underthesea12 24

Monday 12 August 2013 22:34

Your dad is a hoot!

TheDoctor10 28

Monday 12 August 2013 23:11

Just keep eating it and your dad has to pay for any hospital visits.

ClaytorNator 12

Monday 12 August 2013 23:16

Your dad is evil.. EEEEVIL!

150493x 29

Monday 12 August 2013 23:43

Your dad is both an ass and a legend. That must suck though, OP.

LithFlavored 10

Tuesday 13 August 2013 0:10

Wish all dads had a sense of humor

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML

66 526

5 145

Today, my laziness reached a whole new level when I caught myself skipping the longer FML stories to read the shorter ones. FML

33 497

13 828

Today, I'm trying to quit smoking because I'm actually running low on money. I just realized that I'm actually spending a lot more money and gaining more weight by eating junk food to relieve my anxiety than what I used to spend buying packs of cigarettes. I can't afford a psychologist, either. FML

764

260

Today, a heavy set lady came to my boutique asking for our "largest" 28in size jeans. I decided to humor her by giving a 52 mislabeled as a 28. It fit perfectly! She happily bought it and left. Later, her mother, who is a Super Karen and twice her size, came to complain about me to the owner for bodyshaming her daughter. FML

862

280

Today, I took my driving test. I spent 30 minutes with the handbrake on. FML

12 450

28 719

Today, I found out my identity was stolen. The person got credit cards in my name and didn't pay the bills, which has ruined my near perfect credit. The worst part about all of this is that I can't turn the person in. It's my mom, and sending her to jail wouldn't really work out for anyone. FML

44 496

5 454