Sneaky pizza

Today, everyone at the office was finally presented with the bonuses our boss had promised to pay us by the end of last year. Turns out he was never authorized to promise any such thing, so he ended up just giving us signed "thank you" letters instead. FML

Make your minds up

Today, I got fired. Yesterday was my birthday and I was told I was getting a promotion. FML

Today, my boss announced that instead of holiday bonuses being on the cards, the company is going under and we'll all be out of a job next year. FML

Today, my boss got a promotion and I got laid off. FML

Today, at the job I've had for eight years, I finally got the raise I was supposed to get a year ago. One hour later I found out the store was closing and we were all out of a job in two weeks. FML

The blame game

Today, my boss made me give a presentation to several senior company officials about the serious financial losses our division has made this year. Barely an hour later, my boss had palmed all the blame off onto me and gotten me fired. FML

Today, while at work, I was asked to see my boss. I was informed that the company would be laying off 20 people, and that I was one of them. I was told I could finish off the week, then was sent back to work. Twenty minutes later, my boss walked around and handed us all Christmas party invitations. FML

Is this a joke?

Today, I was ordered by our higher boss to buy 15 boxes of pizza for our even higher boss's birthday party. As I called his favorite pizza place to order, I was told to "FUCK OFF!!!" and was blatantly hung-up upon. When I tried to call again, the company number is now barred. Of all the days, it had to be April 1st. FML

Today, the store I work at got shut down and I got let go. Three days ago I got a promotion and a raise. FML

Today, I found out my reward for topping three of the four employee performance charts was a paycut. FML