Today, my mother yelled at me for standing too close to the microwave. Her reason? The radiation was going to seep through, kill my sperm, and cause cancer. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML
Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML
Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML
Today, I had to explain very slowly to my mum why she cannot put metal cutlery in the microwave. She did it anyway. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML
Today, my mum had no legitimate reason to have her daily yell at me, so she resorted to bitching me out for putting her phone on charge after it started beeping with a low battery warning. FML
Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML
Today, my daughter asked me for permission to go to her boyfriend’s studio apartment without any supervision to “watch a soccer game and eat pizza.” I said no because she thinks I was born yesterday. She proceeded to throw a tantrum and told me that she hopes my breast cancer kills me. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to stop her preschooler from playing in the kitchen when I'm cooking dinner. She bitched about how I'm "controlling and micromanaging". As she did so, he put his hands on the hot oven and screamed in pain. She then shrieked that it was my fault he hurt himself. FML
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Top comments
alaskababy907 11
Hey, I heard that if you stand too close to the microwave you can get cancer from the radiation in those things. You should probably stay away from them...
thatgirlinoregon 21
I wonder how much 'kimotherapy' costs? Less than chemotherapy, perhaps?
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Comments (104)
bettyc4 26
Seen south park????
GODert 8
Lol hell ya
cinder2theblock 0
It's completely false that microwaves send out harmful radiation it's shielded for one and two it's not gamma rays that cook your food other wise it would be contaminated when it got out, it's radio waves that cook it and it's wavelength heats up the natural water in the food but will not pass through the door
TheJonface 6
It isn't radio waves, it's microwaves...
Ugi 27
Microwaves are actually at the short wavelength end of the radio spectrum (something between about 1mm and 1m IIRC). The radio waves that carry your home WiFi are technically microwaves. It's just that they are very low power compared to a microwave oven.
njsoule 0
Those wave will do the same thing to your cells as it does the foods, shielding is minimal
tony23h 7
Dude.. Ionizing radiation cause cancer, not that from microwave.. But the sperm part is kind of true.
iamyourgod 3
The sperm part is true...If you put your balls in their till your sperm boiled.
MissFits_fml 6
There's always a sperm bank.
Clamcreepy 7
You should've told her if she keeps yelling stupidity she would lose her brain and go to a mental institution
cacklecakes101 4
It's actually true, you can get radiation cancer from frequently standing next to microwaves.
redmonkey224539 9
Microwaves can't give you cancer
SuperDerp 8
Acctually, standing next to a runnimg microwave can give me headaches, so i always leave but some people dont, so
xHarleyQuinnx 0
My. Mum. All. Over.
picklemonger 13
That's what all the anti-cellphone paranoia is about: microwave radiation.