Today, my mother yelled at me for standing too close to the microwave. Her reason? The radiation was going to seep through, kill my sperm, and cause cancer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML
Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML
Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML
Today, I had to explain very slowly to my mum why she cannot put metal cutlery in the microwave. She did it anyway. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML
Today, my mum had no legitimate reason to have her daily yell at me, so she resorted to bitching me out for putting her phone on charge after it started beeping with a low battery warning. FML
Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML
Today, my daughter asked me for permission to go to her boyfriend’s studio apartment without any supervision to “watch a soccer game and eat pizza.” I said no because she thinks I was born yesterday. She proceeded to throw a tantrum and told me that she hopes my breast cancer kills me. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to stop her preschooler from playing in the kitchen when I'm cooking dinner. She bitched about how I'm "controlling and micromanaging". As she did so, he put his hands on the hot oven and screamed in pain. She then shrieked that it was my fault he hurt himself. FML
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Top comments
alaskababy907 11
Hey, I heard that if you stand too close to the microwave you can get cancer from the radiation in those things. You should probably stay away from them...
thatgirlinoregon 21
I wonder how much 'kimotherapy' costs? Less than chemotherapy, perhaps?
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Comments (104)
license2chill 5
Well, she's right to a certain degree. Normal household microwave is around 1 kw nowadays, as an electrical engineer, i can tell you that's a pretty damn powerful EM radiating source, and leakage is expected. It does adversely affect your health, but the exact effects are still the area of active research. So try not to stay too close to the microwave while it's operating.
iamyourgod 3
As an electrical engineer to another electrical engineer, stop feeding these peoples' delusional misunderstanding of physics. We both know microwaves emit a lot waves, but weak ones. They are no where even close to being able to knock electrons up one energy level, let alone ionize them and ruin the chemical bonds in your DNA causing cancer. They have very little penetration and really can only affect humans by rotating water molecules due to their polarity. This is just heat, completely harmless unless you were a moron and punched a hole in a microwave and waited for your arm to boil.
StalinsHeir 1
Buy a lead apron for microwaving lol.
pmreck 1
I worry about our futures when I hear things like that. Lol.
structuredchaoz 4
While that may be unreasonable, check out the recent cancer clusters popping up near airports with the new naked scanners. Scary stuff.
HentaiBunny 4
Haven't you seen south park? You'll be able to bounce on them!!!
sulljason 0
The mesh in the window is a Faraday cage and the microwave is grounded. The microwave radiation from the magnetron gets reflected back into the microwave because the waves are bigger then the holes.
1a2b3c4d5e678D 0
But weren't you gonna eat something out of the microwave??????? Like wat? You can eat stuff that goes inside the microwave but OHH NoOOO don't stand too close!.... Why doesn't she get rid of it if she believes that anyways?
dlaury 0
Well.. Microwaves are not good for the body.
Rocky007 15
She's probably right.
lucyinthesky420 10
Ya never know.