Today, my mother yelled at me for standing too close to the microwave. Her reason? The radiation was going to seep through, kill my sperm, and cause cancer. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML
Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML
Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML
Today, I had to explain very slowly to my mum why she cannot put metal cutlery in the microwave. She did it anyway. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML
Today, my mum had no legitimate reason to have her daily yell at me, so she resorted to bitching me out for putting her phone on charge after it started beeping with a low battery warning. FML
Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML
Today, my daughter asked me for permission to go to her boyfriend’s studio apartment without any supervision to “watch a soccer game and eat pizza.” I said no because she thinks I was born yesterday. She proceeded to throw a tantrum and told me that she hopes my breast cancer kills me. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to stop her preschooler from playing in the kitchen when I'm cooking dinner. She bitched about how I'm "controlling and micromanaging". As she did so, he put his hands on the hot oven and screamed in pain. She then shrieked that it was my fault he hurt himself. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
alaskababy907 11
Hey, I heard that if you stand too close to the microwave you can get cancer from the radiation in those things. You should probably stay away from them...
thatgirlinoregon 21
I wonder how much 'kimotherapy' costs? Less than chemotherapy, perhaps?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (104)
flavasava73 5
Actually early microwaves did actually come with a warning in the instruction manual that they should not be operated whilst standing directly in front. Overly cautious perhaps, but in the 1950's the government in the U.S. Had adverts on tv trumpeting the benefits of drinking "radioactive water". Smoking was once thought to clear the lungs and there are photos of riders in the Tour de France sharing a cigarette, passing it between bikes, before a hill climb. All science and technology changes, so perhaps she was just reiterating the old instructions on the early microwaves?
MirganNicole 2
It's true. It causes cancer from the radiation waves
RidingCJ 17
It does give you cancer because there are a lot of radiations. but i'm not sure about the sperm thing tho.
Orhugs 11
We don't even own a microwave for those reasons
JeWbOy101 11
Well for all you people bashing op and saying that microwaves are completely safe here is some informational reading proving otherwise if any of you are intellectually adept enough to actually lookup information on topics you read about and don't have a concrete answer. The time many of you spent on arguing could have been solved with a few seconds on google. Heres the info id your interested in some intellectual stimulation. http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080111041017AAhaXfl
JeWbOy101 11
If***
mollyjynxjax 28
The first microwaves actually did leak radiation from what I've heard (could easily be wrong tho, since I learned it from a not particularly bright teacher), but the technology has advanced so much that they are completely safe!
Greenmarsh 31
OP you make me laugh to the point of throwing up in disgust, nice way to talk about your mother. Obviously she wants whats best for you. Sincerely Greenmarsh P.S. Go **** yourself you ungrateful rude piece of shit, show some respect. Don't dehumanise and put down your mother in order to get your FML accepted especially behind her back to strangers you will never meet or even see. bet your father wouldn't find it funny, and if he does i know where you got the idea from. also are you living at home? cause if your 18 or older you really should be out of there and if your younger than that, (haha this is a good and true comment) you don't know enough about things to be talking about your mother like that you ungrateful little bastard. P.P.S Nice name, just adding to the insult which your mother does not deserve good job.
comment11111 39
It still says so in manuals. She's correct.
paranda 2
its a myth....google it
thes7274473 19
I've heard that plenty of times from my mother. What was disturbing was another time my seventh grade culinary teacher said "Don't stand so close to the microwave, you'll damage your reproductive organs!" at school.