Today, my mother yelled at me for standing too close to the microwave. Her reason? The radiation was going to seep through, kill my sperm, and cause cancer. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML
Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML
Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML
Today, I had to explain very slowly to my mum why she cannot put metal cutlery in the microwave. She did it anyway. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML
Today, my mum had no legitimate reason to have her daily yell at me, so she resorted to bitching me out for putting her phone on charge after it started beeping with a low battery warning. FML
Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML
Today, my daughter asked me for permission to go to her boyfriend’s studio apartment without any supervision to “watch a soccer game and eat pizza.” I said no because she thinks I was born yesterday. She proceeded to throw a tantrum and told me that she hopes my breast cancer kills me. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to stop her preschooler from playing in the kitchen when I'm cooking dinner. She bitched about how I'm "controlling and micromanaging". As she did so, he put his hands on the hot oven and screamed in pain. She then shrieked that it was my fault he hurt himself. FML
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Top comments
alaskababy907 11
Hey, I heard that if you stand too close to the microwave you can get cancer from the radiation in those things. You should probably stay away from them...
thatgirlinoregon 21
I wonder how much 'kimotherapy' costs? Less than chemotherapy, perhaps?
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Comments (104)
DevilBoi69x 0
She's actually right. Overtime, the seal on the door of the microwave loses its efficiency and let's minimal amounts of radiation thru.
jmorganite 0
I've heard of that too, when I was pregnant they would tell me to stay away but I was like wtf?
rg110989 0
hey man I did that all my life and now that I'm 17 I regret it because I have testicular cancer probably from that listen to your mother she is smart I just wish I listened to mine :/
KiddNYC1O 22
I always back away when heating food.
GamerMaster2041 12
This level of idiocy can only be found on tiny little spot multiplying it self across 50 states of 1 country which is the cancer of this planet microwaves and other photons from AM and below to purple photons do not emit dangerous photon radiation. microwaves and IR can only heat up the liquid bubbles inside of the food. thats why ceramic or glass plates dont heat up when we place it in microwave.
lennox23 6
But eating The Food is ok then..?? Silly.. ha ha!
kyliemichelleeee 2
Lmao. That actually happens OP...
ohhey_lauren 2
When I read this, one thing came to mind....what was cooking in the microwave?
bubo_fml 11
"Mom! I'm not a tranny! I wear fishnet panties so that my sperms can breathe!"
BAxSoulCity 1
ydi, it doesnt kill sperm count, but the radiation can cause cancer. your mom is right
redhedsaysrawr 18
no you dumbass, everyone knows it a MYTH. i was told for a long while by my mom "not to stand in front of the microwave or ill get breast cancer"... until a teacher informed us that microwaves give off about as much as a TV does... Sure, radiation causes cancer... but LARGE amounts... not a TV or microwave... Please educate yourself... -_-
miss_la_rue 6
Actually, you need to educate yourself. I studied all forms of radiation for 6 years. Microwaves ARE radiation, much like x-rays, gamma rays, TV signals, all light that we see, UV rays, etc. The difference between microwaves and TV radiation is that microwaves have a lot more energy, which can do you a lot more damage, whereas TV waves are really long, slow, and not energetic. And, unfortunately, microwave ovens are not as safe as they should be. They DO have shielding, much like the x-ray shielding things they make you wear at the hospital, which is part of what makes microwave ovens so heavy, but the problem is that no product is 100% guaranteed to be safe and to stay that way. Obviously, they get tested, and wouldn't be on the market if they aren't 'safe', but you do have to be concerned about older models, and you SHOULD be concerned about how close you stand to them.