Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was yelled at by my mum for not wanting to get a spray tan for my cousin's wedding because if I don't, I will "shine like a beacon of disrespect" among the other attendees. FML
Today, my mom told me that my new concealer is way too dark and makes my skin look hideously orange and uneven. I wasn't wearing any makeup. FML
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, a girl at my tanning salon was ranting about how expensive it was and how she wished there was a cheaper way to get a tan. I joked, "Like from the sun?" She angrily called me a "sassy bitch", screamed to my boss about me, and then threatened to sue us when he kicked her out. FML
Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML
Today, my mother refused to talk to me because I wouldn't let her use my deodorant stick. FML
Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the Devil tempted her. FML
Today, I was called a wimp for getting a sunburn. FML
Today, my mum was in a bad mood, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her I love her, and giving her a hug. She slapped me hard enough to leave a red, hand-shaped mark on my face, and told me to fuck off with my "sarcasm". FML
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
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Top comments
0ops_i_died 8
Tell her she's slowly giving herself high blood pressure from freaking out about shit that's not a big deal
gc327072 31
Because fake tan stuff has UV rays within it! That's how it works! Duh!
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Comments (137)
SusanBieber 10
I feel like this is something my mom might do. I think you should just explain calmly how it doesn't give you skin cancer.
MrClean17 15
I remember living with my parents, and even credible evidence wouldn't change their opinions haha. Once they set their minds, they were impossible to change.
LolPieRofl 11
This kid once said to me long ago "Hot Dogs gives you cancer, ya know."
Harpy20 24
Did anyone else notice that OP named herself 'Anonymous ****'?
izzie321 27
Why are there so many YDIs...
smilepatrol 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I feel sorry for OP. Dumb mother is dumb.
Lioness8197 18
Dumb comment is unnecessary .
COOL__Coal 12
Dumb comment is dumb.
Lioness8197 18
59- great minds seem to think alike.
COOL__Coal 12
That's what I've heard.
windycityassasin 6
62- Or fools seldom differ...
twitch851 9
84- dude that's so deep I can't even see you any more.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
86- it's because you're facing the wrong way.
laylay33 6
He just copied you dumbass there was no thinking involved
gc327072 31
Because fake tan stuff has UV rays within it! That's how it works! Duh!
Sir_Swaggington 6
Bronzer isn't like a spray tan, it's makeup powder that girls wear on top of foundation
lilhellian 27
24 That joke flew way over your head didn't it?
TourettesGuyFTW 26
^Like a jumbo ******* jet!! :p
lilhellian 27
27 I got a umm explicit image of that. Also is that how we get new planes?:O
mikeymayhem_87 15
The fake stuff have fake UV rays in it. Check the labels!
gc327072 31
24- I wanted to put "/sarcasm" at the end of my comment, but I thought "Nah, don't want to be too obvious." *facedesk*
lilhellian 27
51 My comment was aimed at 24, not you.
lilhellian 27
Sorry I had a total blonde moment, I kind of thought I was 24 while I was reading 24's comment.
ygdrassil 17
What else might you expect from 24, given that he calls himself "Sir_Swaggington".
Sir_Swaggington 6
No lol. I knew they were joking, but a lot of other people were saying stuff about fake tans and I know a lot of guys wouldn't know, so I commented on this one because it was closest to the top.
Sir_Swaggington 6
I forgot people get crucified for having fake joke names on the internet ygdrassl. I should change it to something as profound as yours so as to be taken seriously.
lilhellian 27
Yet another example of what people do when they arrive late for number one comment.
nikkipettyfer 24
It's powder...
nikkipettyfer 24
It's powder...
twitch851 9
78- you don't say?
buck33 14
I thought bronzer was when someone lays in a tub of bronze coins.
SammyS2012 21
69- it may be in powder form, but it's still a fake tan.
SkyyEatsAirplane 11
I don't see what's wrong with that. A bronzer is like blush. If you know how to apply it properly, it shouldn't be very noticeable. Bronzers are just for those days you look extremely pale, you just add a bit and even it out with a blending brush to add a bit of colour to your skin. And OP, either your mom doesn't know what a bronzer is, or you applied enough to make you look like you just shoved your face in a pile of dog shit and she didn't really want to tell you straight up.
winkydog4056 16
#116_....shoved your face in a pile of dog shit....my, the mental image is charming. Thank you
laylay33 6
HAHA no you didn't your honestly so stupid just stop embarrising your self
vocaloidtiger 12
126 - ... What?
sugarshane007 20
It seems that everyone thinks everything causes cancer these days.
lilhellian 27
What are you saying? That not everything causes cancer?! Impossibru!
idgaf528 6
Cancer can cause cancer... Now you know, and Knowing is half the battle!!
TourettesGuyFTW 26
25- your comment somehow got me thinking of Pokemon battles. **A wild cancer appeared**
Jdog619 11
Breathing oxygen greatly increases your chances of getting cancer. Fact: every person that has gotten cancer EVER has, at some point in their life breathed oxygen!
valvmonster 9
Well with one in seven getting it these days- I'm sometimes inclined to think they're right!
sugarshane007 20
Everyone ha the risk. People seem to forget that we are born with cancer cells and its just a matter of them acting into replication.
newmandotcom 6
FML causes cancer
sugarshane007 20
As have I! Funny how that works, someone should so do a study on that.
LonelyIslander1 5
25- your comment reminded me of the J.I. Joe saying.
tsent8 15
Only in California does everything cause cancer.
Llamacod 11
25- Go Joe!
asleepingbear 8
You have gave yourself finger cancer by typing that
0ops_i_died 8
Tell her she's slowly giving herself high blood pressure from freaking out about shit that's not a big deal
MrSassypants 34
Then she'll blame OP and yell at her for giving her a higher blood pressure and then start yelling at her (OP that her (the Mother) constant yelling at OP keeps on giving her a higher blood pressure and it would just keep going and going until she explodes. Then you have mom confetti.
lilhellian 27
Paging grammar nazi to isle 15, immediate clean up requested. Paging grammar nazi to isle 15. That is all.
strawberrywine22 30
Aisle* You're welcome 34 :)
lilhellian 27
Good work, dismissed soldier.
MrSassypants 34
Well, now that I actually see my comment, all I can say is I ****** up. Now who do I blame other than myself?....
kittenvks 11
83, protocol clearly states you blame a roommate, sarcasm, or being half asleep.
wannabemom 5
Everyone else.
The_SkyCantLimit 5
*Eye twitch*
gmc_blossom 21
You should stop doing that with your eye. It could cause cancer.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
We all know bronzer and spray-on tans cause ink-poisoning, not cancer. What was she thinking?
Jonaahhhh 12
Try to take solace in the fact that your mom probably just doesn't want you ending up like the orange monster ***** Snookie... But your right, she shouldn't be having conniptions over this.
ICastillo 25
I don't see what so cool about a fake tan, most those people end up looking like an Oompa Loompa anyway. I want to punch the jersey shore douche bags for making people think that's cool.
lilhellian 27
What's the difference between hurricane Sandy and snookie? They both blew the entire east coast, but only snookie is an orange oompa loompa.
strawberrywine22 30
It was cool before Jersey Shore. Plus, the "cool" thing about it is the pretty tan without the skin cancer. Been there done that, my sister just found out she has (I think it's) melanoma after years of weekly tanning, and I'd much prefer to see her using Fake Bake.
ICastillo 25
What's The Difference Between Jersey Girls & Trash? The Trash Gets Taken Out More Often.
idgaf528 6
What does snookie and a vacuum have in common? -they both suck, blow, and get laid in a closet!! -btw, it was "cool" before Jersey shore as you mentioned, but jersey shore just made alot more people want to look like them and made it alot more common and popular, made it more approved by society, guys should not "fake bake" on a daily basis like that, and how they act and talk? Not the accent, I mean the stupidity that just flows out of their mouths in what they interpret as "words" -jersey shore = almost no faith in the human race
qwillis98 20
Whenever I think of jersey shore i find the nearest dictionary and write "jersey shore cast" under douce bag.
ICastillo 25
Yeah man Jersey Shore makes people more stupid as they watch it.
lilhellian 27
Jersey Shore bringing out the stupidity in people, paved the way for such things as: "yolo" and "swag."
TrailblazerSS 5
**** it, YOLO. You bitches can't match my swag.
ICastillo 25
Watch out we have a badass over here. ^^
lilhellian 27
Your picture fits my expression, and your comment.
CharresBarkrey 16
I honestly don't see what the big deal is with Jersey Shore. If you don't like it, you don't have to watch it. Believe it or not, you also don't have to tell the whole world how much you don't like it. They're not hurting anyone, and they certainly shouldn't affect you in any way. It seems like people can't dislike something these days without bashing it every second they get and making sure everyone knows that they think its stupid, and making people who do like it feel stupid. Honestly, THOSE are the people who are wrong with this generation; The ones who can't let others be without being condescending.
ICastillo 25
I don't watch it but I see people talking like them and acting like them which annoys me, because they're ******* douche bags. So while I don't watch it I'm still reminded of the stupid ass show.
SammyS2012 21
20- but why must you tan? Maybe it's because I'm naturally tan, but I don't see what's the hoopla of tanning. I think porcelain white skin is pretty but that doesn't mean I'm going to alter my appearance and make my skin white.
greeneye_fml 12
Your mom is an idiot. Sorry.