Today, I went to my girlfriend's house. She had promised me we'd get it on so I couldn't wait. When I got there, I didn't get it on. Instead, I got a list of reasons why I make her depressed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend told me how disappointed and depressed she was that she could never make me hard. She started ranting about her looks and how she fails at everything. I didn't know how to reply. I was hard while she told me. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML
Today, I went to see my girlfriend to talk about my anxiety, because it's been a big issue. She broke up with me instead. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained about our recent dry spell. I've been under a lot of stress at work, but I told her some things she could do to help. She decided a better idea was to scream that I don't care about her needs, and that I should never "burden her" with my problems. FML
Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML
Today, I finally had the opportunity to have sex with my girlfriend. This would be the first time for both of us, so I tried to make it really special. I had everything planned out to be very romantic. She loved how it was set up. After all that, I couldn't get it up at all, all night. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, I asked a girl out. She sent me a whole list of reasons that she hated me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML
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Top comments
CookiesNOJ 0
think about it.. is that the only way she can get your attention? then you suck!
lovelyred 0
was having a small penis one of them?
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Comments (87)
ImSoBaKed 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Next time, promise to eat her then give her a list of reasons why she's a bitch
jamie_leeann23 0
obviously you don't deserve a bj if you're making her depressed. ydi for being a shitty boyfriend.
pirace 0
www.bluntgutsnation.com
Daerauko 0
stop posting websites, pirace, you are an annoying sob
suppressed08 2
lured then denied.
robdoggstge 0
I like ur attitude man. buuut that's kinda messed up if that's the only say she can get his attention. op it's not all about sex dude
suppressed08 2
he probably is a sex crazed addict, but where in the fml does the OP say he has sex often?
YourEvilHero 12
Now give her a list of reasons why she,s bipolor for being depressed
subcultured 0
blueballs suck don't they op?
MattCole 0
Dump the bitch. that will give her a real reason to be depressed. if she is so depressed with you, who doesn't she just leave you so she can be happy? She just wants to whine instead of blowing you and making you a sandwhich.
izzy0122 0
she promised you to "get it on" yiu sound like a little boy being excited to have hanky panky!? lol maybe you should learn to turn her in so it isn't a job fir her to gave to promise to give u some.
izzy0122 0
omg sorry fir the mispelled stuff. the auto fix on iphone is wack -.-
flufffypants 0
Smacks the bitch eh? then drinkz zom mayplez zyrup cuz wez Canadian and wez talkz dumb and haz prob with beinz drinkz247 eh eh eh eg ****** yanks wooo Canada!
bettadenne1 0
I agree with 47
ifinishlast 0
op, you should break up with her for breaking her promise and lying to you so that tomorrow we can read an fml she posts about how you broke up with her for having a stank ******
tristan1001 0
why even have her promise that!?! pervy mervys!
bmalley 0
consider yourself lucky you got a list and not a bag full of - go **** yourself and die, now get back on that bus before my new boyfriend kicks your ******* teeth you pecker head.
jt0070 0
well all I have to say is it looks like SOMEONE doesn't know how to read body language
PandasRtheShit 0
Lol **** block
deathartisan 0
depression isn't just from bipolar disorder, jackass do some research. Dysthymic Disorder leads to severe depression and I just recently foun out it's the cause of my depression...
imsexb3ast 0
pay attention to the list! fix some of the reasonable things to make her happy then you MIGHT get some action.
pipp360 0
tgey changed this one. it used to say *******
insanium14 0
amen
the_mantlist 6
What the hell does that even mean? If you don't know about depression, don't ******* speak about it!
the_mantlist 6
How exactly is the girlfriend a bitch? If anything, the OP is a stupid little douchebag for complaining about underserved sex instead of worrying about the welfare of his girlfriend. Read the FML again. You could see that the OP is an asshole.
broadwayboy79 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
dump her! you can do sooooo much better.
boopityboppity 11
a) You don't know that the OP can do better. b) It's the OP's fault in the first place for being such a bad person. c) is for cookie.
Memoohhh 0
I giggled at c!
mikedubya 0
boopity how do you follow "you don't know he can do better" with "the op is a bad person". your first statement was realistic, absolute and often overlooked truth....and then you immediately follow it with an oversimplistic and unknowable statement that destroys any integrity the former may have had. Contradict yourself much?
CookiesNOJ 0
mikedubya did u catch the cookie joke at all?
Alzied 0
Just cause she didn't sleep with him doesn't necessarily mean she should be dumped. But really if she keeps playing with him she'll get it. Its OK to tell your partner how you feel but really if you don't make her happy just break.
boopityboppity 11
28, what I was trying to say was that instead of writing an FML about this, he should make himself a better person. It seemed to me that the OP was only excited about sex, so I called him a bad person. No, that was just filler so I could get to option c. But what I said above makes sense too.
darkness456 0
are u a three year old?
CookiesNOJ 0
think about it.. is that the only way she can get your attention? then you suck!
LookinLikeDrake 0
ydi for only paying attention to your gf for sex. that's why she is prob depressssd because the only time you focus on her is if she says that. Girls arnt toys bro
sleekRelease 0
I hope it wasn't long.
darkzexs 0
that sucks hahaha
lovelyred 0
was having a small penis one of them?
Memoohhh 0
She makes me depressed.
Erindub 0
Well what are the reasons?!
murdermedead 0
what a drag, you shouldve stilled attacked your girlfriend & got it on maybe she'd lighten up after some stress relieving sex:)
fakedsincerity 32
I don't think rape would help her depression...
Memoohhh 0
Explain yourself please.