Today, I asked my girlfriend to stop her preschooler from playing in the kitchen when I'm cooking dinner. She bitched about how I'm "controlling and micromanaging". As she did so, he put his hands on the hot oven and screamed in pain. She then shrieked that it was my fault he hurt himself. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife and I had a huge fight that ended with her taking my son and going to her mother's. What happened? I caught him playing with the knobs on the GAS STOVE for the third time and spanked him for it. He's been told not to play with those many times already, and I'm scared he's gonna start a fire. FML
Today, my 6-year-old daughter touched a tray I'd just pulled out of the oven. I quickly swatted her hand away, but then noticed she wasn't hurt or burned at all. I then gingerly touched the tray and got scalded. My daughter giggled maniacally as I screamed. To be honest, I'm now terrified of her. FML
Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML
Today, I asked my wife to keep our toddler confined while I hung a shelf. Of course, she didn't, and he came in and picked up a screwdriver. I tried to take it away, and he ran off giggling, only to trip and slice his forehead open. According to my wife, this is entirely my fault and she is taking him to her mom's. FML
Today, I burned dinner because my girlfriend was yelling for me to help with a trivial problem. To salvage things, I ordered pizza. She spent the rest of the evening moaning that I ruined dinner, that we don't eat healthy, and that I "make us" waste money on food. FML
Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, I accidentally touched a hot pan and, like any normal person would, jerked my hand back. My mom saw, yelled at me for being a "prissy princess" and then proceeded to stick her whole hand on the hot pan for a full 5 seconds. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML
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Top comments
legalgravethief 8
You need out if that relationship asap man
Nazmazh 18
Now, we don't know the full scope of your relationship from this brief, unhappy snapshot. But, like. It doesn't exactly paint a great picture that she's dismissive of your safety concerns, goes straight to accusations about your character, and then blames you when the easily preventable thing you predicted would happen if not prevented happened. Like, if this wasn't your wake-up call to seriously re-evaluate this relationship, it really, *really* should be.
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Comments (11)
legalgravethief 8
You need out if that relationship asap man
Nazmazh 18
Now, we don't know the full scope of your relationship from this brief, unhappy snapshot. But, like. It doesn't exactly paint a great picture that she's dismissive of your safety concerns, goes straight to accusations about your character, and then blames you when the easily preventable thing you predicted would happen if not prevented happened. Like, if this wasn't your wake-up call to seriously re-evaluate this relationship, it really, *really* should be.
D J's MOM 17
was this just a bad day for her, or are you so tired of her shit that you finally decided to post an FML? if it's the latter, then you need to get your finances together ( if need be) and set up a plan to get the hell out. that part isn't always as easy as it sounds. she's not gonna change...
Charlie Given 28
Run , run far away from that narcissist 🤦♂️
poopface82 25
I’m a single dad and I know a hell of a lot better than to be anything less than grateful for my girlfriend cooking for me and my kids. And my kids know a hell of a lot better than to touch the stove. And I know a hell of a lot better than to blame my girlfriend if they do. Basically what I’m trying to say is that you are her scapegoat, not her partner. End the madness.
JackWood 21
That's some ninja gaslighting right there.
spinningrecords 14
Get out of that fast. If she doesn’t understand safety it’s just a matter of time before somebody gets killed. The kitchen is not a playground.
Brightside86 31
That's just what being in any relationship is like. Your girlfriend expects you to be able anticipate their needs. There's a multitude of ways you could have prevented this from happening without directly micromanaging. I'm curious how she'll punish you for your negligence that injured her child.
IHaveThePower 18
Dude, you're not describing a healthy relationship, you're describing abuse. If that's what your relationship is like, please, go find help--it's *not okay* that your GF treats you like that.
historygrad74 19
Your gf is an idiot.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
One word: RUN. She's one of those typical parents that thinks her kid can do no wrong, and she doesn't discipline him. He'll grow up to be a serial killer and she'll put the blame on the victims. She's toxic as a mother and she'll be toxic as a partner. Dump her now while you still can.